Kids With Issues

After like the first 60 lines it gets good. I just had to copy and paste the entire convo because I felt like this will cover for all of my creative inefficiencies for the next week or so, and the past week or so.

Big BA: Hey babe!
Andrea: Hey geekwad!!
Big BA: lol
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: Whats up!
Big BA: not much
Big BA: been listening to techno for 263 minutes
Andrea: "what techno?" "... are you serious?"
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: AND, I can't believe you just called me babe
Andrea: lol
Big BA: hehe
Big BA: what else would I call you?
Big BA: I mean... cutie? over-used
Big BA: hot stuff... nah... you're too hot for that
Big BA: *snicker*
Andrea: lol
Andrea: hahah
Andrea: *snicker* nice one, I like that
Andrea: 8-)
Big BA: ^_^
Big BA: so what've you been up to today?
Andrea: i was being a cherry festival slut
Big BA: lol nice
Andrea: i went down at one, left at four - went back at nine, left at midnight
Big BA: hehe
Big BA: sweet
Andrea: Hey bill, whats a dying giraff sound like?..
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: me
Andrea: Have you seen that movie?
Andrea: Oh lame
Big BA: no
Andrea: Obviously not!!
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: What did you do today?
Big BA: oh shit what did I do..
Big BA: oh yeah
Big BA: more stuff with chelsea
Andrea: What did you do?
Big BA: that's not all I did
Big BA: I went to ryans
Big BA: we went to GWL
Big BA: we played DDR
Big BA: I talked to chelsea
Big BA: after she got off work I went to her house
Big BA: we watched an old cartoon
Big BA: we went to meijer and shopped for some stuff
Big BA: (lol I felt like we were married, making decisions about what to buy, lol)
Big BA: then we went back to her house and read a shape magazine
Andrea: oh! lol sometimes i love that feeling
Big BA: and her ex stopped by
Andrea: its just fun
Big BA: yeh it is
Andrea: Like going grocery shopping
Big BA: so I snuck out and left
Andrea: Greg, right?
Big BA: yeh
Andrea: Why'd you sneak out? And why'd he stop by?
Big BA: he stopped by because they had plans
Andrea: What were they going to do??
Big BA: and I snuck because she didn't want to have to explain me
Big BA: and I didn't wanna meet him
Big BA: I don't care what they were going to do
Big BA: *shrugs*
Big BA: I trust her
Andrea: Hmm
Andrea: Well good for you
Andrea: *******************
Big BA: yeh
Andrea: *******************
Andrea: grrrr
Big BA: *******************
Big BA: I saw him for like .5 seconds
Big BA: *******************
Big BA: he looked angry
Andrea: lol
Big BA: *******************
Andrea: ... yeah
Andrea: Oh well
Andrea: What can ya do
Big BA: I dunno
Big BA: nothin
*******************
lots of editing....
*******************
Andrea: k, what?
Big BA: Big BA: using the f word a bunch
Andrea: lol what the hell
Big BA: shouldn't**
Andrea: Ohhh, there ya go
Big BA: lol
Big BA: lmao
Big BA: I'm tired
Big BA: but I don't want to go to bed
Andrea: lol
Big BA: because I'm going to think about everything
Big BA: and I won't sleep
*******************
More editing... it's for your own good.
*******************
Andrea: lol omg, story time that might not make you laugh but it made me laugh so hard
Big BA: lol okay
Andrea: you don't know these ppl, but whatever
Big BA: hgahaahahahaha
Andrea: So we went to Sam's house when her parents weren't there and we weren't supposed to be there (sam, kellie, jenni, and i - wait! you do know these ppl!)
Big BA: hehehehe
Big BA: all of them
Big BA: right on
Big BA: yeh so anyway
Andrea: And kellie is a HORRIBLE liar and she gets on the phone and spills to her mom all this shit about us not being allowed to be there, and telling her mom not to tell sams mom bc shes stupid
Big BA: hahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahhahahaahhaha
Andrea: lol it was supposed to be a simple "hi mom I'm safe" conversation but shes insane and was just..kellie
Andrea: lol so she gets off the phone and sam FREAKS out
Andrea: lol she was yelling
Big BA: hahahaha
Andrea: 'WHAT THE FUCK KELLIE? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO PISS ME OFF SO BAD? FUCKING THINK BEFORE YOU TALK, THINK! GOD YOU'RE SO STUPID!'
Andrea: *'WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVET O
Andrea: lol omg it was amazing!
Big BA: hahaahaha
Big BA: that's sooooooooo awesome
Andrea: kellie started crying and ran to the couch
Andrea: lol
Andrea: oh god
Big BA: hahahaha
Big BA: lmfao
Big BA: that's so great
Big BA: lol
Big BA: brb
Big BA: I have to pee now
Andrea: lol
Andrea: okay
Big BA: *still laughing*
Big BA: hahaha
Big BA: oh man
Big BA: is this hot cheerleader sam?
Andrea: lol yeah
Big BA: lmao that's great
Andrea: lol it was priceless
Andrea: favorite line: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO PISS ME OFF SO BAD?!?!
Andrea: hehhe
Big BA: lol
Andrea: Okay, done with that
Andrea [1:00 AM]: I'm thinkin its bed time!!
Big BA: *chew headphone cord*
Big BA: :-\
Andrea: Uhhh
Andrea: lol what the hell
Big BA: do you really have to leave me?
Andrea: headphone cord?
Andrea: lol wait, explain the headphone cord
Andrea: and then i'm going to leave you
Big BA: I'm chewing on
Big BA: my
Big BA: HEADPHONE
Big BA: 's
Andrea: lol
Andrea: f you
Big BA: *drags out
Big BA: *
Andrea: F YOU!
Big BA: C
Big BA: or
Big BA: D
Andrea: c or d...
Andrea: huh?
Andrea: lol
Big BA: fuck up!
Andrea: hahahhaa
Big BA: cord
Andrea: hahahahah
Andrea: lol i thought you were asking me to pick from one of the 2
Andrea: c or d?
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: lmao
Big BA: only silently
Big BA: cuz it's late
Andrea: lol!!
Andrea: hahah
Andrea: Oh bill bill bill
Andrea: ILLLL
Big BA: :-D
Andrea: I only scream your name at this time
Big BA: *sighs*
Andrea: yeah, about one in the morning - its when i get lonely and scream your name and dream
Big BA: :-\
Andrea: lol
Big BA: :-(
Andrea: what?!
Big BA: :'(
Andrea: STOP CRYING YOU PUSSY
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: What?!
Big BA: hahahahahHAHAHAHAHA
Big BA: come on don't fucking leave me all alone here
Big BA: miles is leaving
Andrea: lol
Big BA: you're the only person left to talk to
Andrea: WELL THAT LITTLE FUCKER!
Andrea: I'll leave before him so you can't dump that on me
Big BA: I talked to chelsea's mom for TWO HOURS TONIGHT because I wanted to talk to you but you were gone
Andrea: LOL!
Andrea: lol oh shut up?!
Big BA: lol okay I just really needed to talk to someone and she is nice... but you always make me happy
Andrea: lol
Andrea: hhahah "you weren't here so i settled for chelsea's mom"
Andrea: you're such a punk rock prom queen
Big BA: that's about it
Big BA: yup
Big BA: that too
Andrea: lol
Andrea: I can picture you getting your freak on on the dance floor
Andrea: OHH YEAH BILL SHAKE THAT BOOTY
Big BA: whhhhhhhhha?
Big BA: DDR baby DDR
Andrea: LOL!
Andrea: HA! Miles is still here!
Big BA: yeah
Big BA: he's talking about porn spam though
Andrea: Go make him perform sexual favors on you
Andrea: lol!
Big BA:
**BEGIN COPY**
Miles: *submits ryro's e-mail to porn sites*
Big BA: :-D
Miles: gah
Miles: i wonder if interland has spam filters
Miles: they can't
Miles: but i seriously never get any
Big BA: hmmm
Miles: except for the occasional business spam (professional logo creation!!) or netscape.
Big BA: heh
**END COPY**
Andrea: I will talk about my porn spam
Big BA: do you get lots?
Andrea: Well of fucking course! I pay for that shit!
Andrea: OH HELL YEAH
Big BA: lol
Big BA:
**BEGIN COPY**
Miles: g'night tiger
Big BA: night...
Big BA: some other animal
Big BA: with equal ferocity
Miles: yeag.
Big BA: what's a yeag?
**END COPY**
Andrea: lol
Big BA: that goes before porn spam
Big BA: he said good night and then talked about pronm spam
Andrea: lol
Andrea: hahah
Andrea: oh miles
Big BA: pronm...
Andrea: I can't wait until he gets laid
Andrea: lol
Big BA: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Andrea: Just imagine the faces he'll make...
Andrea: hahahhahaha
Big BA: oh grodie....
Andrea: LOL!
Big BA: stop talking
Andrea: HAHAHAH!
Andrea: lol oh okay mr. "so warm, so soft"
Andrea: yass
Big BA: my throat %3d no hurt tonight
Andrea: its because you do it so often
Andrea: It stops after awhile
Big BA: actually today I did not
Andrea: STOP TALKING
Andrea: Oh
Andrea: lol I didn't read the not
Andrea: continue!
Andrea: :-) !
Big BA: I feel closer to her now, because we hung out and didn't, but I still feel happy, so I know what I thought I felt for her is real....
Andrea: YAY!!
Andrea: I am very happy for you!
Andrea: Very very
Andrea: except I dont like the word very
Big BA: lol
Andrea: IT IS BANNED FROM MY VOCABULARY
Andrea: ban a word from yours!!
Big BA: .... honk
Big BA: yes
Big BA: I will ban honk from my vocabulary
Big BA: I will no longer honk my horn
Andrea: LLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!
Big BA: I will toot it
Big BA: toot toot
Andrea: But you never say honk in real life
Big BA: wtf yes I do!
Andrea: lol shut up! mr. lamo
Big BA: I fuckin say it every dy
Andrea: lol!
Andrea: YOU LIE!!
Andrea: ban a word like ... it
Big BA: lol DY IS NOW ELIMINATED FROM MY VOCABULARY!
Andrea: !!!!!]
Andrea: hahahhaha!
Andrea: good call my friend
Big BA: I will replace it with...
Big BA: DAY
Andrea: it gets me excited to think about you banning the word it
Andrea: because you woudn't be able to
Big BA: okay, I ban the word it
Big BA: oh the fuck i wouldn't be able to ban that word.
Big BA: I could and you know that as a fact
Andrea: LOL!
Big BA: The fact remains that I can ban the word.
Andrea: OHHH ITS ON BITCH!
Andrea: Okay if you don't say it for a week, I'll give you five dollars
Andrea: Only to me though
Andrea: Or in my area
Andrea: I'll give you a break when you're talking to others
Big BA: what the fuck, that wager is worth at least 25 dollars or more
Big BA: oh
Andrea: lol F YOU! I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY
Big BA: only to you
Big BA: okay
Andrea: yes, only to me, or if i'm around you
Big BA: okay
Big BA: well... I'ma block you, alright?
Big BA: talk to you next week....
Andrea: lol
Andrea: hahaha
Big BA: :-D
Andrea: tricky!!!
Andrea: and it can't be on your profile
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: oh yes, that rick was tricky, wasn't that trick?
Andrea: BAWHAHAHAHAHAH
Andrea: oh this brings me so much excitment
Big BA: well, this event should bring you excitement.
Andrea: dooood, i kicked some major mosquito butt today
Big BA: *makes a note not to use the word*
Andrea: What word?
Big BA: you know. The banned one.
Andrea: lol
Andrea: It would have been hilarious if you would have said it
Andrea: I dont know if I know anyone that dumb tho..
Big BA: lol yes I realized that and skillfully avoided saying the word
Big BA: cept me
Andrea: lol
Big BA: how did you manage to kick major mosquito butt?
Andrea: Well you are a ninja
Big BA: yeah
Andrea: HOLY SHIT I ROCKED THAT BITCH
Andrea: it was huge
Andrea: it was like the size of my bling bling
Big BA: hahahahaha
Big BA: that's great...
Andrea: I turned off the lights, sat in the dark, and killed it with my bare hands
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: I too, am a super ninja
Big BA: how'd this situation go down?
Andrea: Well that bastard just kept coming out of nowhere
Big BA: oh man, I'm too slow with my no "*banned word*" typing skills.
Andrea: and being .. mosquitoish, and i just wans't having it!!
Andrea: lol!!
Andrea: hahahah
Andrea: OH HELL YES
Big BA: what?
Andrea: lol i'm just excited
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: lol that's good
Andrea: Okay BABE! i have to sleep!
Big BA: I'm excited too, to tell you the truth
Big BA: NOOOOOOOOOOO
Andrea: unlike you with your vampire like ways!!
Big BA: I'm going to stay up all night and listen to techno
Andrea: lol
Andrea: niiiice
Big BA: yeh
Andrea: have a personal party
Andrea: That sounds gross... but its not
Big BA: 306 minutes
Andrea: its really just dancing
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: good clean, personal party fun!!
Andrea: I have them all the time!
Big BA: that is 5 hours and 6 minutes
Andrea: .. thats sad bill
Andrea: Go back to your punk rock but not really punk rock, it was poprock that you called punk rock.. phase
Big BA: I'm afraid every time that I type a word that rhymes with the banned word that I typed that word
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: hahhahaha
Big BA: shut up so what if I'm not really punk... I can enjoy my pop punk.... :'(
Andrea: c'mon, type a little faster
Andrea: stop crying
Big BA: pussy
Andrea: real men don't cry
Andrea: lol
Andrea: yes, pussy
Andrea: didn't want to over use the word
Andrea: but thanks for filling it in
Big BA: fillling what in? I don't know what that word is
Andrea: You put in the word pussy
Andrea: GOD KEEP UP
Andrea: You're just too slow to hang with the big dogs
Big BA: shut up I was fucking making a joke
Andrea: big dogs %3d me
Big BA: about not understanding what the banned word was
Andrea: lol ohhhh, the year 2003 called and told you to get a clue
Andrea: HA! now THATS a joke!
Big BA: fucking go to bed, obviously I'm more up than you
Andrea: hahahhaha
Big BA: and way fucking quicker
Andrea: hahahahhaalwenrweaxc
Andrea: shut up!!
Big BA: come on have a stay up contest with me. that would be fun
Andrea: FUCK YOU!
Big BA: whoever goes idle first loses
Andrea: I just feel like yelling the fuck word
Andrea: lol yes, the fuck word
Andrea: lol shut up thats a lame game!!
Big BA: lmfao
Big BA: fuck YOU!
Andrea: hahaha
Andrea: fuck ME?!?!
Andrea: OKAY!!!
Big BA: HARD
Andrea: ohhh, that sounds like a better game
Big BA: RAIL YOU IN THE CORNER
Andrea: :-*
Andrea: lol yes, lets play "lets maul andrea"
Big BA: whoa billl...
Andrea: how to spell maul?..
Big BA: that is.
Andrea: lol ohhh baby!
Andrea: my mommy said I'm smart!!
Andrea: :-)!
Big BA: lol good for her
Big BA: my abs hurt
Andrea: And she said to stay away from boys named Bill b/c they have a curse of a small penis and not knowing how to please
Big BA: *WAILING*
Big BA: :'(
Andrea: hahhaha
Andrea: BUCK UP PUSSY!
Big BA: I HAVE BIG AMERICAN PENIS
Andrea: hahahahahha
Big BA: NOT SMARR JAPANESE PENIS
Andrea: SMARR???
Big BA: think about that one.
Andrea: really now?
Andrea: lol
Andrea: hahahah
Andrea: fuck off
Andrea: hahhaa
Big BA: lol you have the giggles tonight, huh?
Andrea: lol i like how you just give me time to realize i'm a dumbass
Andrea: "just think andrea, just think"
Andrea: YOU! have the giggles tonight dear bill!
Big BA: lol you are right
Andrea: muwahahah
Andrea: okay i have you sleep you fuck!
Big BA: HOLY FUCK MY COMP JUST UNDERBUFFERED ON STREAMING MUSIC
Andrea: I have the case of the fuck word tonight
Big BA: lol
Andrea: LOL YES!
Andrea: THE BREAK IN TECHNO HAS COME
Big BA: no
Big BA: only for like 20 seconds
Andrea: lol
Andrea: well you have to restart your timing then of course
Andrea: thats the rules!
Big BA: we're back on track with 316:26
Big BA: NO FUCK YOU
Andrea: OKAY BILL, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
Andrea: NOT LIKE I COULD FEEL IT ANYWAY!
Big BA: FINE RIGHT NOW ON THE FLOOR
Andrea: LIKE YOU COULD GET IT UP!!
Big BA: YEAH YOU'RE TOO NUMB TO FEEL MY HUGE WANG FROM YOUR CHERRY WHORING
Andrea: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Andrea: LKFNAEWRFANSFASKFASD HAHAHAH
Andrea: that was really good bill!
Andrea: I'm proud
Big BA: thanks
Andrea: lol its our little love connection rooted in my profile
Andrea: lol thats going cause quite a ruckus!
Big BA: hahahaha yes that is
Andrea: lol
Andrea: okay cock fucker I"M GOING TO BED
Andrea: AND YOU CANT' STOP ME!
Big BA: NO!
Big BA: you must stay
Big BA: I've kept you up for 38 minutes
Andrea: lol
Andrea: WHATEVER!
Big BA: come on, only another 6 hours to go
Andrea: I've.. kept..I'VE KEPT MYSELF UP!
Andrea: TAKE THAT!
Big BA: YEAH WELL KEEP MY WANG UP AND STAY ONLINE
Andrea: hahahha
Big BA: even if you just go to bed
Andrea: BONER!!!!
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: leave your sn on
Andrea: lol no!
Andrea: MY COMPBONE WILL BLOW UP!
Big BA: so I can chat by my lonesome
Andrea: compbone %3d computer
Big BA: lol
Andrea: it exploded so dan the computer man put some energy thing or something so we have to turn it off when we're not using it
Andrea: :-(
Andrea: SO SAD
Big BA: :-(
Big BA: that is terribly sad
Andrea: Biggest pet peeve: dogs dressed up as people
Andrea: biggest fear: being humped by a dog
Big BA: I'm carving my initials into a quarter
Andrea: lol wow
Andrea: ... cooooool
Big BA: which will go around the united states
Andrea: lol
Big BA: and return to me some day
Andrea: you should stick it up your butt
Big BA: when I am 26
Andrea: And so when you see other quarters you can think "hey, that might have been up my butt"
Big BA: yes
Big BA: exactly
Andrea: I think its a good plan
Andrea: When I get around Bree Immick I pick up lesbian tendancies
Andrea: How do you spell tendencies..
Andrea: shes not a lesbian
Big BA: oh
Andrea: GIRL YA GOT ME FEELIN ON YOUR BOOTY!
Andrea: lol she kept singing that and grabbing my butt
Big BA: lol that's funny.
Andrea: So I went around all night doing that
Andrea: And we're werid, we'll like grab each others breasts
Andrea: to make the ppl around us nervous
Big BA: STOP FUCKING MAKING ME JIZZ ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Andrea: hahahhaa
Andrea: alksdnfwefdnadsf lol
Andrea: I don't get why boys get off on that
Andrea: Its just weird!!
Andrea: GIRL YA GOT ME FEELIN ON YOUR BO-OTY!!
Big BA: don't you ever dream about two guys ramming eachother with their hot lotioned rods?
Andrea: lol
Andrea: NO

Andrea: EW
Andrea: GOD DAMNIT BILL
Andrea: lol
Andrea: 'WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO PISS ME OFF SO BAD?!!?'
Andrea: :-)
Big BA: lol
Big BA: are you still excited?
Big BA: about my word?
Andrea: YES!!!!!!!!1
Big BA: okay, just making sure
Andrea: And ... other things
Andrea: that belong to you
Andrea: BWAHAHAHAHAH
Andrea: god i'm just so HORNY
Andrea: :-P
Big BA: shut up numb cherry hooker queen
Andrea: lol
Andrea: ohh, its AJ time
Andrea: ohhh yeah
Andrea: oh
Andrea: ohhhh
Big BA: WTF???
Andrea: ohhhhh yeah
Big BA: holy shit go to bed
Andrea: lol I'M KIDDING FOOLIO
Andrea: Like he'd know how to make me moan
Big BA: lol with his smarr japanese penisu....
Andrea: lol
Andrea: 'think about that one'
Andrea: lol
Big BA: I'm going to try not to use the word in any of my convos with anyone
Andrea: lol
Andrea: And you're talking to .. one person right now?
Andrea: Which would be me
Big BA: but I mean, from now on
Andrea: so i'm not impressed
Andrea: Ohhhh
Andrea: YAY1
Big BA: until I die
Andrea: lol
Andrea: lol
Andrea: okay, now i'm impressed
Big BA: or I get my $25
Big BA: whichever comes first
Andrea: lol
Andrea: i think death will come first
Big BA: the word I have chosen to ban is so worthless, you can reform any sentence to work without that unnecessary word. They are just redundant...
Andrea: OH FO SHO!!
Andrea: :-)
Andrea: yay!! happiness!
Andrea: okay you fuck, leave me alone!!
Andrea: GOOOOODDDNNIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT BBBBIIIILLLLLLLLL!
Big BA: 331 minutes
Big BA: NO!
Andrea: more like 10
Andrea: Because you lost it!
Big BA: ANDA PANDA DO NOT LEAVE ME
Andrea: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THAT NAME!
Andrea: ITS LIKE THE PUPPY DOG EYES
Andrea: fer
Andrea: that means f'er
Andrea: :-) in case you didn't know
Big BA: FUCK OFF I DIDN'T BAN THOSE WORDS
Andrea: F YOU LOSERHEAD GEEKWADANKLE
Big BA: SO STAY ON PWEEEEEEEEEEEEASE (*) (*) *watery puppydog eyes)
Andrea: oh yeah, them are fightin words
Andrea: okay that looks like boobs to me..
Andrea: lol
Big BA: lol hey grab em why don't you
Andrea: lol
Big BA: since you're lesbicidal
Andrea: I think I'll grab mine
Andrea: Oh yeah
Big BA: grrrrrrrr
Andrea: doin it right now
Andrea: inbetween words
Andrea: mmmmm
Big BA: I'll just grab my big old donger
Big BA: oh yeah baby
Big BA: oh yeah
Andrea: my right is bigger than my left
Big BA: opposite for me
Andrea: lol
Andrea: nice
Big BA: the left hangs a bit lower
Andrea: I'M GOING TO BED!
Big BA: NO!
Andrea: weird, my right does
Big BA: weird
Andrea: never noticed, i just cup them in my hand to see
Big BA: testicals are weird that way
Andrea: lol yes, my testicals are very weird
Big BA: me too
Big BA: I cup and weigh and they both SEEM the same
Andrea: lol!
Big BA: but really... one hangs lower
Andrea: i weighed my boobs once
Andrea: HERES THE TRICK!!
Andrea: Stand on the scale and weigh yourself
Andrea: AND THEN
Big BA: lol I've never weighed my testes
Big BA: cut em off?
Andrea: weigh yourself again but have someone stand behind you and pick them up
Andrea: and then subtract the difference!
Andrea: :-)!
Big BA: oh
Big BA: I would just squat and lay my junk on the scale
Andrea: well that way sucks
Andrea: This way you get them weighed AND get felt up
Big BA: with some saran wrap or something
Andrea: its a lovely lovely thing
Big BA: cuz that would be dirty without that.
Andrea: Ohh yeah, true
Big BA: maybe you'll help me weigh em sometime.
Andrea: lol maybe you'll help me check if i have breast cancer
Big BA: shut up marla
Andrea: lol!
Andrea: YAY!
Andrea: God I love Fight Club
Big BA: me too
Big BA: let's beat the fuck out of eachother
Andrea: Oh you're a sly one!
Andrea: lol okay, i'd waste you
Andrea: just to let you know
Big BA: whatever!
Andrea: Okay seriously Bill, I'm leaving
Big BA: :-\
Andrea: DONT!
Big BA: it's been an hour
Andrea: lol god damnit don't
Andrea: SHUT UP
Big BA: FCUK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: FUCK
Andrea: LOL
Andrea: FCUK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: FUCK
Big BA: THERE GOES MY FUCKING FIVE DOLALRS
Big BA: DAMN I WANTED THEM DOLALRS
Andrea: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!
Andrea: YAY!1
Andrea: LOL YOU DIDN'T LAST 2 HOURS!!
Andrea: THAT ROCKS!!
Big BA: this goes on KWI, I guess...
Andrea: YAYYYYY!!!!
Big BA: good night
Big BA: sleep well
Andrea: damn straight!!
Andrea: night!
Andrea signed off at 1:58:24 AM.

much love ~BA

Okay, there are two things lacking in KWI... 1) There are no minorities... Can you believe it??? Mike and Yacin are gone, yes, good old Frosti and Vash are both gone from lovely TC and we are minority-less! 2) I am lacking in creative spirit right now, which happens about twice a year... Don't fret, as I just won't update for a while and then I'll suddenly start again.

Much love ~BA

Only in TC can someone say while driving along the parkway, "Is the airshow today?" And then someone will look to the right and say, "You mean with that stealth bomber?"

indigomacX: IronChefBilliam (1:35:29 AM): it's fucking 134
IronChefBilliam: yeah
IronChefBilliam: I was looking at my kitchen clock
IronChefBilliam: my comp def says 125
IronChefBilliam: 35
IronChefBilliam: **
IronChefBilliam: 136 now
indigomacX: well my kitchen clock has a satellite uplink to an atomic clock in the basement
IronChefBilliam: nice
indigomacX: (1:36:29 AM): 136 now

My sister to my dog, after the dog licked her repeatedly: If you still had your stuff biscuit, I bet you'd be a pleaser.

So, people who run on the beach are probably pretty smart because I think that running on the sand %3d healthy for your joints. People who run on the beach in front of my house though are stupid, because they run the risk of being ninja attacked by my dog, who is fully trained in every aspect of barking-no-jutsu and whine-at-the-door-no-jutsu. Her stealth is unmatched by any ninja. Ever. People who run on my beach, beware, my dog will kill you and eat your children and any small animals that you may or may not own that are within your premise.

A warning from ~BA

LAUREN FUCKING JOHNSON!!! I miss you! We need to hang out soon... call me... if you don't know my number jordie will... and if she doesn't I'm always an IM away. From her, anyway.... I'm sorry I'm never there when you IM me... I'm always off like peeing or something and I come back and you've left me 80 messages and you are gone! Goodness I miss you.

I saw gundam wing condoms on J-List.com

Yeh this isn't BA godammit. But I haven't uh updated in ever so I don't know my password so I hafta use Bill's name. But remember anything funny that is said is by me.

So I've totally become one of the mindless minimum wage biatches of I-Loch. It's a good 30 minute drive sometimes less but not really but the work is good and easy just like me. The pay blows but the oppourtunities for stupidity are everywhere. Uh our video 4M3R1K3N Pride is actually the best selling movie in KWI history. It sold like 10 copies, it was awesome considering you can download it off the shiternet, that just goes to show how lazy people are. Uh 4M3R1K3N Life will be a lot better, not so much not goodness as the last one so equal better.

I was considering doing FOTW but damn I'm ever so lazy so a proxy version is being put up. But I still had to think about it so do whatever I tell you.

Song: "Speed Queen" - MC Frontalot
Hey this songgood. Funny, not mc chris but good nerdcore rap. He talks about stuff and it's funny and it rhymes so download it from his site that I will not include a link to.

Movie: Italian Job
Actually I was alittle upset with this movie. I thought I was going into a foreign porno flick with Charlize Theron and instead I get Mini Cooper's, oh wait that's okay no wait, wait, I want sex, I think. Oh I got it, sex in the Mini's, MMMMM foursome in the Astrovan...

Online Cartoon: Ninjai The Little Ninja
Hey just watch this because he's a ninja, but he's really shot so it's funny. Obviously that's why I'm so funny.

Album: "Original Pirate Material" - The Streets
Tracks to check out: All the fuck of em.


Yeh so none of this was Bill, except for that one part that doesn't exist. Hopefully pk sessions will exist in the near future. Don't uh hate me if you hate my picks or do I do cuz if you don't like them I hate you.

~Frosti~
Be Free

These are convos I logged in NY... I hope nobody minds that I put these up...

Dominic: I only was with sarah today because she came buy when I was out on a boat with guys and asked if anyone wanted to go for a ride
Big BA: I spent a lot of last week sleeping in the back of my van with ryro, andy, and mike
Big BA: lol
Dominic: and we got into a huddle and we agreed that we would all take turns and no one would get too jealous
Dominic: I'm serious
Big BA: hahahaha
Big BA: lmao
Dominic: we talked about it for a good couple minutes

Big BA: hey
Kellie: hey
Big BA: it's not my fault you receive less love from me now.
Big BA: how come you only have one dimple?
Kellie: cause thats the way god made me
Kellie: is that a problem?
Kellie: and you never have time for me... so it is your fault
Big BA: no I don't have a problem with it
Big BA: it's kawaii
Big BA: just wondering
Big BA: it's just like asking someone with one eye why they only have one eye... there's no need to take offense. i mean, a cat could have clawed it out or something, I didn't know, so BACK OFF
Big BA: you never IM me anymore
Big BA: or I would talk to you
Big BA: see now you're ignoring me
Big BA: what the hell
Kellie: okay... so i have to be the one to take iniative
Big BA: mixed messages
Kellie: and you're just too busy w/ the bastard and all your other cool friends to talk to me
Big BA: whatever fuck up and get your bitch on cuz we're talking
Big BA: I don't know what I just said
Big BA: but I meant it.
Big BA: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER???
Big BA: GOING??
Big BA: NOW ANSWER ME WE ARE TALKING
Big BA: my babydoll we need to talk
Big BA: so talk
Big BA: tell me about yourself
Kellie: sorry!!
Kellie: summer is good... lots of beach time, cheerleading and hanging out w/ anna
Kellie: yours?
Big BA: I've done like 15 girls and I work at interlochen
Kellie: we're done
Big BA: what's that?
Kellie: cause you lie like a son of a bitch
Big BA: I lie on purpose though
Big BA: not to deceive
Kellie: hmm alright then
Big BA: but to bring joy into your life.
Kellie: guess what!
Big BA: it didn't bring you joy?
Kellie: no... i had a stunt clinic today for cheerleading
Big BA: sweet
Big BA: I saw your away message
Kellie: and my group won the stunt competition in the elite section!
Big BA: YAY~!
Kellie: we got a trophy for the school, and then i got a ribbon and got to take the spirit stick
Kellie: i was so happy
Big BA: that's so sweet
Big BA: so... you're like hotter now because of that sweet victory?
Kellie: no
Big BA: shut up you are.
Kellie: i'm still the same boring kellie
Kellie: and i'll move on to someone who loves me, now that you dont anymore
Big BA: what ever fucking you need to shit up and biatch your way around cuz you own the hotness factor max 10.
Kellie: thats the vanilla i know and love
Big BA: ^_^
Big BA: well yeah
Kellie: are we gonna hang out this summer?
Big BA: yeah
Big BA: sure as hell
Big BA: we'll ddr
Big BA: you should be good
Big BA: because you cheer
Big BA: and cheerleaders are like... *ahhhh* goddess.
Kellie: i like dancing
Big BA: well dancing !%3d DDR
Big BA: if(DDR %3d%3d skill){
Big BA: kellie %3d ownz
Big BA: bill %3d 4lr1ghtx0r
Big BA: }
Kellie: i'm so confused!
Big BA: well shit up mofo, it's code... learn your damn java or prepare to die a sorry death in the solitude of internet coding hell!
Kellie: :-( fuck you and your internet code...i dont need your bull shit]
Big BA: yeah i'm kidding but if you wanna take it seriously you can
Kellie: i dont really care
Big BA: I'm ashamed that you haven't learned the one thing about me that is most prominent, that I'm never serious when it comes to insulting you
Kellie: you know what i think?
Big BA: you don't fucking care
Kellie: nope
Big BA: I'm sorry I'm mean to you
Kellie: i think andy should have another party and invite me this time
Big BA: mmmm....
Big BA: alright
Big BA: bed time
Big BA: night babe
Kellie: good night
Kellie: ttyl

Kellie [12:22 AM]: have you read the book "lyle lyle crocodile"?
AJ [12:22 AM]: no I havent
Kellie [12:22 AM]: its good
Big BA: *almost pukes from holding laughter in*
AJ [12:23 AM]: do you have it?
AJ [12:25 AM]: because this might sound weird but i want to go to your house and read it
Kellie [12:26 AM]: haha... luckily i dont have it
Kellie [12:26 AM]: sorry
AJ [12:26 AM]: am i creepy?
AJ [12:26 AM]: just because im ugly doesnt mean that im evil too
Kellie [12:27 AM]: haha... i'm jk


AJ [12:10 AM]: ok if you were a horse and there were two bugs that were making you angry would you swat the one on your shoulder first or the one on your back?
Kellie [12:12 AM]: i would just shake them off... its not their fault they landed on me
AJ [12:12 AM]: but they are the ones that are eating you!
AJ [12:13 AM]: you dont eat the bugs why should they have the right to eat you!
Kellie [12:14 AM]: well cows dont eat me but i still eat cheeseburgers
Big BA: if I could laugh out loud as loud as necessary right now I'd wake everyone here up
AJ [12:14 AM]: yeah but cows dont like cheese but you still put it on them!
AJ [12:14 AM]: do i put cheese on you!
AJ [12:15 AM]: ok i confess, i would put cheese on you, but thats not the point

You know... that was quality stuff. I wish that Frosti would start doing the flavors again... I really enjoyed them. That's all from me.
~BA

Dzokhar: ahh love
Dzokhar: Love is like a big jar of oatmeal
Dzokhar: Its dry and tastes kinda funny
Dzokhar: and your aunt edna alwasy makes you eat it
Dzokhar: but your like
Dzokhar: NO AUNT EDNA!
Dzokhar: I hate oatmeal!
Dzokhar: and she is like
Dzokhar: BITCH
Dzokhar: EAT THE DAMN OATMEAL!
Dzokhar: and your like
Dzokhar: I HATE YOU AND THIS HOUSE
Dzokhar: AND HOW UNCLE STEVE JUST SITS ON THE COUCH
Dzokhar: WHO CARES IF HE IS A VETERAN~
Dzokhar: HE CAN MOVE SOMETIMES
Dzokhar: AND I HATE HOW THE CAT SMELLS LIKE CHEESE!
Dzokhar: so take that
Dzokhar: im leaving aunt enda
Dzokhar: and then aunt edna said
Dzokhar: EAT THE DAMN OATMEAL
Dzokhar: and i shot her
Dzokhar: in the elbow
Dzokhar: with a pellet gun
Dzokhar: and i bet it stung like a mother fucker

I made about 30 mods to the last update, so now I'm just going to make a new one. This is my last day in the city; tomorrow I'm leaving to go to the Jersey shores *sigh* (<--Me, not excited). Sure sure, you may be thinking "oceans are great... you can sex there." But no, it's not true. You can't sex there, you can't anything there. The only thing at the ocean is people... lots and lots of people. I hate people. Dakara, beaches are not my thing. Today I went to Chinatown, where they keep the hot ch1n4ch1x0r in this city, and I saw a bank that was called 'The Abacus Federal Bank.' Yeah. Abacus. Uh huh, you read it correctly, twice. It was like 94 today and we walked for MILES. This island isn't more than 5 miles long, but we walked more than that, I bet. Shopping for my sister's friend in Chinatown. Little Italy was like right in the middle of Chinatown, and that pissed me off. Italians piss me off now, ever since I heard that Johnny Versaci was murdered (which ruined my T-Shirt). My sister wants to eat fucking Italian again tonight, and I want to shoot her ass like the mafia would because we don't need to eat Italian again. We can go to Antipasta's any night of the week at home. The pizza I had last night even pissed me off because it's not like it was that good to begin with, but the fact that it was Italian and not Japanese or Chinese or even Korean made it worse. We should be eating Thai food, because we can't get that in little old TC. Little old... wtf, am I Italian?
~BA

Oh yes, Vash is not the only one who is gone this week... I, Big BA, am in New York City once again. Hooray! I am chilling at my aunt and uncle's apartment for a few days, then I am heading over to the Jersey shores. Yeah. So... Vash, have a good time in the big E... I didn't get a chance to really say goodbye to you, but whatever. Much love, d00d. I think it's rather ironic that I'm living in a section of town called Chelsea right now. :-p Uh, yeah... I don't really have much in the way of funny to update with... *thinks hard about funny stuff he's seen today...* Nope, nothing. Sorry -_-. My wisdom teeth hurt, I feel sick... I just ate at a Korean restaraunt and had two bowls of rice, one thing that was big, one piece of a scallion pancake, a bunch of beef and pork, and some side dishes. Then we went to Haagendas and I finished off my aunt's icecream. I came back here and had a pack of fruit snacks. There's something wrong with my body.
Andy & Mike - I'm quitting when I get back, I think. It's too much of a hassle.
The whole Yamakasi qr00 - Hang loose till I get back.
Lauren - I miss you babe... I wish you'd get your I'net back!
~BA

Ryro: well you know
Ryro: if all you go to do is find a piece of ass
Ryro: that's all you're going to get
Ryro: and asses don't talk or bake cookies
Thank you, Ryan. I love you.

[UPDATE]
Hmmm... I was walking with my uncle on the street today and I told him about KWI's clothing gang idea, and the versaci's mom thing... and he was like "I don't get it... did you know versaci was murdered in front of his home?"
Yeah... I crapped myself. I had no clue. I just made that up about his mom and really, he got killed. That's crazy.

Ryro: he got killed??????????///
Big BA: yeah
Big BA: fucking murdered by one of his ex male lovers
Big BA: nuts, isn't it??
Ryro: holy shit
Big BA: I know!
Ryro: poor versacis
Big BA: I know I know
Ryro: versaci*
Big BA: no love for the italians
Big BA: oh
Big BA: well it worked both ways
Ryro: yeah
Ryro: well that made it sound like there was more than one
Big BA: we should start a mafia
Big BA: his mom and him
Ryro: did his mom die too?
Big BA: versaci is his last name, I thought?
Big BA: well
Big BA: we plotted on her life
Big BA: with our t-shirt
Ryro: yeah
Ryro: we should make t-shirts that say RIP VERSACI
Big BA: lol yes
Ryro: it even rhymes
Big BA: with a picture of a potato
Ryro: lol
Ryro: yes!
Big BA: a potato with like, those roots growing out of it, you know, when they get really old

Andy I hate you for owning the ladies of Interlochen with your wang.

[Front side]
Your heart is in the right place where loved ones are concerned.
Lucky #06, 15, 16, 20, 27, 40
[Reverse Side]
Speaking Chinese
Today weather very good.
Jintian tianai hen hao.

Well I'm leaving today for my trip. In case you didn't know Im basically going around the british isles with some program called student ambassadors! Its gonna be cool and i'll be back the 7th of july so im there for quite awhile. anyway i think i might be able to access the internet so if you guys want you can drop me an email (the link should be up) and tell me how things are going. if i don't respond there isn't a need to send email cuz i wont read it until i get back ^^. anyways ill see you guys later.

There's way too much to tell about this weekend.

Friday:
Mike's house - After school I went to Mike's house and we made a movie about carpenters. It was great. After we finished with that, we went over to Nick's house to an awesome party. I learned how to handspring. Woo hoo. Mike and Andy improved on their backflips. Ryan tried to learn the backflip again, but to no avail. That night Mike, Ryan, Andy, and I slept in my van. We had the front seats reclined so far that the headrests touched the floor of the van. Rock on. We laid out a blanket and spread a sleeping bag out and tried desperately to find enough covers for everyone. I think we all switched places about 4 times. Here are some phrases that need to be remembered:

Mike: "Anything you can do, I probably can't do... but I'll build a robot to do it for me."
Everyone: "You're Asian... Go build a railroad or something."
Everyone: "You're Asian... All people in China look like you."
BA: "No I'm not going to pitch a fucking tent, I'm going to pitch a fucking van."
Mike: "I need to sleep, I have work tomorrow morning!"
In response: "Shut the fuck up, we do, too!"

Andy: "Bill, only when you."

There was so much more than that, though... so much more.

So, the first day of work was alright. There are a ton of hot ch1x0r at Interlochen. Mike works in the 12 year old cafeteria, so he gets to see all the hotties (lmfao..). Yeah. There are a few hot intermediates though... But I didn't say that. What I will say, though, is that there are a lot of hot AZN ch1x0r. Oh yes. So, after work we went to Ryan's house and put an air mattress in the van and we goofed around and watched skating videos and stuff, then we went and slept in the van. While watching the skating videos, we decided we needed to start a clothing gang. I suggested this for a shirt:
[In plain text:] "Hey mom, if Versaci calls, tell him I killed his mom."
It was about 1:30 before we got to sleep. We all laid on the mattress (A queen, btw), and there wasn't enough room, but we laid there anyway. We decided that we needed to be on a downward angle, so I moved the van into Ryan's ditch (hell yes, that's right, in the ditch). So, we were on about a 35 degree angle, and it was mad cool. We fell asleep eventually. I got up at 3:40 and whimpered in the driver's seat because I was tired and there was no room and I had no covers (even though I brought extra this time). After I finished I laid down and fell asleep in the d-seat. All was well until 5:00 when the alarm went off. I cried silently in anger after I shut the alarm off, then we gathered our shit and left for Interlochen. When we get there I realized that I left my uni at Ryro's so I went back and got it. Yeah. It's 6:30 now. I waste an hour in the cafeteria eating breakfast. Work day #2 starts. Yay. I got easy jobs. This paragraph has degressed into a first grader's sentence structure. Who cares, though, it's summer after all. So, yeah. That was my weekend in a nutshell... With most of the funny left out because I couldn't begin to transcribe it.

~BA

Big BA: I need a haircut
Dzokhar: how short/
Big BA: the usual
Big BA: I dunno how short that is
Big BA: but it's shorter than it is now
Dzokhar: what the usual is?
Dzokhar: omg
Big BA: lol
Big BA: lmao
Dzokhar: a dislexic truck just crashed into my brain
Big BA: and the sign read "weight ton five limits"

For you losers who don't know what this is its the official konami beatmania IIDX controller. I just won one on eBay and IIDX is totally badass. And I got it for $82.51! A real deal! It's not quite as good as getting a Cobalt Flux IMHO but i have something to tide me over until I get $300.

Peace-Out

KWI_Basher: oh...
KWI_Basher: btw
KWI_Basher: are you ready
KWI_Basher: to die?
Senpai: no.
Senpai: i don't want to die now
KWI_Basher: i'm scared
KWI_Basher: if Marci failed.
KWI_Basher: i don't know what is going to happen.
KWI_Basher: *whimper*
KWI_Basher: hold me

Your favorite neighbor is back! No, not Mr. Rogers, (after all, he is dead), it's Josie!

Josie (7:01:56 PM): hey
Vash (7:02:09 PM): oh hey whats up?
Josie (7:02:22 PM): just doin homework, you?
Vash (7:02:31 PM): slacking
Josie (7:02:38 PM): :-P
Josie (7:02:45 PM): can't wait for summer
Vash (7:03:26 PM): me 2
Josie (7:03:41 PM): how's your year been?
Vash (7:04:52 PM): not bad
Josie (7:05:04 PM): good for you
Josie (7:06:07 PM): mine's been horrid
Josie (7:06:24 PM): any plans for this summer?
Vash (7:06:27 PM): work
Josie (7:06:34 PM): what kind?
Vash (7:06:44 PM): for money
Josie (7:06:55 PM): :-)
Vash (7:07:16 PM): infected mushroom is the jesus
Josie (7:07:26 PM): ?
Vash (7:07:32 PM): pwn'd
Josie (7:07:44 PM): sure
Vash (7:08:08 PM): you listen to techno don't you?
Josie (7:08:30 PM): have you read Bill's info lately?
Vash (7:08:32 PM): EVERYONE listens to techno
Josie (7:08:47 PM): erm
Vash (7:09:04 PM): no info is for pussies
Josie (7:09:18 PM): i see you have one
Vash (7:09:26 PM): a pussy?
Vash (7:09:29 PM): no i have a penis
Vash (7:09:34 PM): but nice try ;-)
Josie (7:09:49 PM): ew
Vash (7:09:50 PM): im too l337 f0r j00 sucka
Josie (7:10:14 PM): gracias
Vash (7:10:28 PM): wtf you talkin about?
Josie (7:10:37 PM): *sigh*
Vash (7:10:57 PM): huh?
Josie (7:11:22 PM): *bigger sigh* me too. i'm feeling slow
Vash (7:11:32 PM): your buddy icon sux0rz
Vash (7:11:35 PM): mine is pimp
Vash (7:11:48 PM): pj33r Kakashi-sensei the copy ninj4
Josie (7:11:52 PM): mmhmm
Josie (7:11:54 PM): sure
Vash (7:12:09 PM): are you hott?
Josie (7:12:44 PM): i dunno, don't think so, ask someone who would know
Vash (7:12:56 PM): like?
Vash (7:12:59 PM): cuz i need some poon
Vash (7:13:05 PM): preferably of the hott kind
Josie (7:13:17 PM): mm
Vash (7:14:38 PM): wow....
Vash (7:14:43 PM): that sounded so wrong
Josie (7:14:49 PM): which?
Vash (7:15:01 PM): are you calling me a witch?
Vash (7:15:07 PM): wtf
Vash (7:15:10 PM): thats so lam3
Josie (7:15:16 PM): no, that's spelled differently;-)
Vash (7:15:39 PM): OMFG that was so..... s700pid
Josie (7:15:53 PM): that's me
Vash (7:16:04 PM): and you dont even try and defend yourself
Vash (7:16:09 PM): i can see you going places
Josie (7:16:22 PM): really?
Vash (7:16:31 PM): damn i had such a good insult but it was too mean
Josie (7:16:39 PM): thanks
Vash (7:16:41 PM): anyways you are boring me so im going to block you again
Josie (7:16:48 PM): kk
Vash (7:16:48 PM): i mean
Vash (7:16:53 PM): "good bye"
Josie (7:16:56 PM): i was just thinking about blocking you too
Josie (7:16:58 PM): bye
Vash (7:17:00 PM): fuck you bitch
Session concluded at 7:17:18 PM


Okay, and here is my session with her...

Josie: hey billiam
BA: you imed me way too quickly.
Josie: i'm bored, and bazbooz is stupid
Josie: no offense if he's a close friend of yours
BA: only one of my best...
Josie: ;-)so sorry
BA: lol i don't care what you call him
BA: I'm really laid back in case you hadn't noticed....
Josie: oh i won't call him anything worse then stupid
Josie: i'm glad you're laid back
Josie: he got all mad cuz i said which
Josie: i mean, c'mon 'which'?
BA: what'd you say?
Josie: *sigh*
BA: like what was the context?
BA: because
BA: you know
BA: he's half black
BA: and it might have been offensive.
Josie: erm, i was asking him "which" was sick
BA: what?
BA: copy and paste the convo
BA: you might have really offended him!
BA: this is serious
Josie: got rid of it, sorry
Josie: :-Poooh i'm scared
BA: I'm going to have to smooth things over with him and everything
Josie: lol
BA: he's gonna be like "if that nigger-hating ho ever IMs me and says which again I'm going to kill some people with saltshakers" or something like that
BA: he gets like that, you know
BA: brb, food
Josie: you are tooooo funny:-D
Josie: kk
BA: back
BA: no I'm not even kidding
BA: he gets so pissed at people that make racist comments like "which"
BA: how could you have said that without even thinking about thge fact that he's half black?!?!
BA: don't think that stopping talking will get you out of this one missy...
BA: he's really pissed at you!
Josie signed off at 7:34:13 PM.

^_^ night all.... Good luck with exams! ~BA

Well. Here it is:

Me: I am going to beat my kids when I grow up.
My sister, trying to be witty, says: Well... you better get a wife who...
(Me, cutting her off): will beat the kids too?
My sister: No, who is into M.S.
Me: You mean S&M? Lisa, MS stands for Multiple Sclerosis.

Yes, that is the witty comment of the day.
~BA

Well here I am again, back in the lab. I don't really feel like talking about Saturday's session because there isn't really all that much to talk about. :-/ Hmmm... We're in the lab all hour, but I already finished our assignment, which took about 10 minutes.

That time of year is here once again. The yearbooks are out, exams are almost here, and my ass is burning from all the screwings I've received this year. --Oh great, she's bitchin at me because I spelled it 'Marry' instead of 'Mary.' Take it in the ass! I wrote it in 10 seconds!-- Anyway, it's the end of the year, and exams are coming again. Last semester I inaccurately predicted the Apocalypse; however, this semester I have been assured by my astral readings that the apocalypse is finally here. Hopefully rapture will come before the exams start so I don't have to do them. Who cares if I don't pass 10th grade? Not I. Along with exams and the Apocalypse, the end of the schoolyear also signifies the coming of summer! Woohoo! I probably won't update all summer because I'll be working at Interlochen (if all goes well, anyway...). Sexy musical chicks what?! Yeah. I'm just rambling.
I'm out now, though. ~BA

Andy says: "I don't think you under really stood me." Oh what wonders little sleep can do for one...

YEAH I BEAT MEGAMAN 2. I R TEH L337 XUPRE MASTER! PJ33R MY SKILLZ ARGGHH K THNKX BYE LOLOL!!!11

Hum hum hum I finished my ILA timed writing shit so I think I will take a little time to update the website. *Looks for something on the network drive to post on KWI*
You can read this... It's just crap I pulled up from my account...

---

(Turkey.doc)
That’s a turkey,
The only word I can think of to rhyme with turkey other than turkey is murky,
I don’t think the following word is a word: burky,
Miles just said the word jerky.
But it rhymes anyway,
so this is a good song, eh?

---

(Rambling.doc)
I’m visually impaired.
I type fragmented sentences.
For your pleasure and mine.
I wonder, if I printed this out, would it print blue and white or black and white?
That’s a question that plato should answer, for he was a great philosopher… Perhaps he would write a big book about it and all the libraries in America would carry it and I would be famous because I came up with the question to begin with. Hell, even the libraries that aren’t in America would carry it, because it’s just such a great question. I bet you’re envious because I came up with it and you didn’t. Yeah, I know you don’t want to admit it. This will be the best report out there because it doesn’t have anything to do with either of those horrid works. My right arm is kind of cramping up because I haven’t typed this fast in ages… Not since last year when I was up till 1:00am Finishing my Freshman Project. Hehe, that was a great memory. ^_^. I wish I could do more stuff like that. The whole concept of procrastination is kind of cool, at least to me, because one can wait until like 2 days before something is due and work their little tush off, and still get an A! The miracle of man, I tell you, the miracle of man. Hi Mr. principal man!

That’s cool, dude!

Totally!

And now, some easy listening from your station, WBILL

Hi. This font is big. Will I get a good grade?
I hope so.
It will be a first for me.
^_^ woo woo.
English.
SPANISH :-p

Thbbpppp!
SLOW YOU DOWN!
Clickity clickity clickity clack go the keys on the computer. Up up up go the numbers on the page.

HYPHENS!

When you have two words that modify a noun, like all-boys school. You hyphenate those words, okay. Two adjectives in front of a noun get hyphenated like that.

Okay she’s done talking.

Someone else needs to talk now so that I can type up their conversation. Lalala, I can hear the low hum of voices in the distance… It’s getting louder, louder, louder! And Dan’s voice is distinguishable from the rumble. Now I hear Tom talking in his low, rolling voice.

Underlined or italicized, just like in the book.

The monkeys jumped into the room, seizing the little girl and ripping her from the arms of her loving bed. She--


okay that's really all I have to say, I tihnk, except maybe that I don't like this class... Being in the computer lab isn't all it's cracked up to be, because whenever you go to the computer lab, you have to do some kind of crappy work. You never just go there to download anime or to watch some streaming webmovie. No, you have to go and type up some kind of stupid penis or some kind of retarded timed essay. Or take a test. Yeah I had to take a test before I did my retard essay. No one cares about this. Maybe if there was a naked girl on this website everything would be okay. Well, it's time to go goof around or something.

[Update]
Okay so I'm back in the lab again in 6th hour with MM, and here's what I wrote about a product for our stupid internet ad dissection shittle:

F27 – “Tide does a better job than any soap on earth!” good for it. This ad shows a mom doing the laundry and another mom folding some laundry and they are happily chatting about their soaps and one is like “I use tide” and the other one is like “hey I use cheer” and the tide woman is like your product sucks and mine is god and the other woman is like no way mine is so much better than yours because mine includes the shit of life and yours fucking doesn’t. Well eat it the other woman yells (I forgot which woman we were on, so there’s a third woman introduced now, the bounty woman… even though that’s a paper towel) Hey bitches, the third woman yells. I can clean up all your stupid detergent with my bounty towels. Yay!

Buhbye for now! ~BA

I'm sorry to keep using you as fodder for KWI, Kellbell, but you'll understand. I know you're a compassionate, understanding person with much more than just good looks and hot cheerleader moves. You're in AT. And so am I. And so is Mike... hell, everyone in KWI is in AT. We're a big family who can rip on eachother at our pleasing.

Kell Bell: whats going on?
Big BA: nothing really
Big BA: just looking up some words
Kell Bell: like what word?
Big BA: like many many vocab words for frankenstein
Kell Bell: i'm sorry
Kell Bell: have you guys read any books this year?
Big BA: ...
Big BA: no
Big BA: we're just looking at the vocabulary from frankenstein.
Big BA: we're not actually reading it
Kell Bell: thats dumb
Kell Bell: you might as well read it
Big BA: you might as well look up sarcasm.
Kell Bell: haha i get it now

...Kell Bell: good for you jackass...

...And here's a little story to end things off.
Kell Bell: West is pretty easy
Big BA: yeh
Big BA: I've noticed this
Big BA: I'm coming next year...
Kell Bell: really??
Big BA: maybe
Kell Bell: how are you managing that?
Big BA: there... is open enrollment
Big BA: and I can drive
Big BA: o.e. %2b license %3d I go wherever I please
Big BA: so I'm lke
Big BA: like*
Big BA: I'll just have your sex on the beach please
Big BA: and she was all like "yo
Big BA: I don't think so"
Big BA: and I was like I tihnk so
Big BA: and shes all
Big BA: yeah you're right
Big BA: lets do it
Big BA: and I'm like
Big BA: now you're talkingf
Big BA: and she's like
Big BA: but first we need a slurpee
Big BA: and I was like
Big BA: *jaw drops*
Big BA: I want to marry you
Big BA: and she was like
Big BA: alright

~BA

As the Co-president of KWI, I feel it is my responsibility to tell you all about the fun time I have had with the qr00. You muyst realize however, that with responsibility comes things you don't want to do. Infact, anything you are responsible for is something you don't want to do. Or, at least, you shouldn't want to do it willingly. Maybe if you were on X you might want to. Might.

Okay here goes...

Time: 6:45
Place: Bill's bed
What Happened: Bill wakes up surrounded by hot women. He taps all of their asses.
What Really Happened: Bill wakes up lonely without any women at all, let alone hot women. He thinks about women, then rolls over and goes to sleep

Time: 7:15
WH: Bill wakes up again and lays in bed for two more hours.

T: 9:17
WH: Bill gets out of bed, eats, then Frosti calls. Bill talks to Frosti for 36 minutes, then does his homework. For the next hour he tries to get Andy to tell him when and where to meet him. He finally succeeds. The time and place are set. 12:30 @ the skate park.

T: 11:04
WH: Frosti comes to BA's house. They watch skate vids then hit the road. They go and measure gaps they've done in the past, then do some yamakasi, then wait at Kids Kove. BA discovers that Frosti has no battery left in his cam so he jets home and brings back his battery. Total time: 7 minutes round trip.

T: 12:50
WH: BA arrives and finds that Andy & Co have arrived, so he and Frosti and the qr00 go into the skate park.

Admission with skates: some price higher than free.
Admission without skates: Free

For the next 4 hours we practiced backflips, skating, backflips, and skating. It was tons of fun. Nick, TJ, Andy, Yacin, BA, Dzokhar, and Frosti were there. Yacin showed up at like 2:30 and stayed for about an hour. He brought life to the skatepark and energy to the members of KWI.

So, Mike learned to backflip off a tree and off of a person, I learned how to fall really well, and Andy and Dzokhar learned that they could front flip off of the trash-can huts. Wow. I can fall on my ass really well. And flip off Matt Kern for being a fucker and telling me I couldn't aggressive shoe the ramp. Everyone at the skatepark hates me because I aggressive shoe. I love it.

~BA

Lauren Fucking Johnson rocks my world.

Big BA: that was a great comment
LFJ: lol i thought it was too
LFJ: i read it and was like...oh man i can comment

Oh yes, she can.

Okay, so, people bought Yamakasi CDs today! If you want to pick up a copy for yourself, it's one dollar, you can get it at my locker (C212). If I run out of copies, I'll take orders. If you renege on the purchase though, I'll kill you and your family and your dog. And your cat, if you have one. I know everyone has a dog, though, because dogs are cool.

~BA

200th update! :P

Oops. Dammit.

...there was an exchange.

Dan: My (someone) got a new iMac with a 17" montior. It was 800MHz.
KWI_Basher: 800MHz iMacs don't come with 17" monitors. They come with 15" monitors.
Dan: No, it was 17", I can tell the difference between that and a 15" monitor.
KWI_Basher: Maybe it was just 17" but 15" viewable?
Dan: No. It was 17".
Bill: Hey, you know what? My wang is 17" but only 7.5" viewable.

The conversation ended there. Dan was thoroughly confused.

Added a hit counter. Scroll down. Bill, if you don't like it, screw with the digits/ directory or index.shtml. Speaking of which, you may want to download those so you don't overwrite them.

~out

Okay, things you need to know before we begin the main body of this IM conversation.

Reference #1:
Kellie: hey
Kellie: check the profile out now
Big BA: lol sexy
Kellie: i wouldn't say sexy.... more like thought provoking or whatever
Big BA: I once cliped my fingernail and it went into my eye
Big BA: that is thought provoking
Kellie: GROSS
Big BA: I wouldn't say gross... more like painful or yowwy or whatever
Kellie: its all of the above
Big BA: okay

Reference #2:
Big BA: my sister called earlier.
Big BA: Her friend said the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Kellie: what?
Big BA: I can't even remember
Big BA: it was the most 3rd grader thing I've ever heard
Big BA: "what did that have anything to do with anything?"
Kellie: haha
Big BA: that is what she said. I seriously could not talk for 10 seconds
Kellie: doesnt even make sense
Big BA: and then I took another 5 to think of some witty verbal smack for her
Big BA: but I couldn't even think of anything

Reference #3:
Big BA: mmm brb
Kellie: alright
Big BA: I need to get some "Luigi's real italian ice"
Big BA: cuz it's yummy
Kellie: sounds good
Big BA: it is
Big BA: I grabbed a lemon one.
Kellie: of course... lemon is the only good kind of frozen ice
Big BA: this is dilectable.
Kellie: delectable
Big BA: yes
Big BA: thank you for correcting my spelling.
Big BA: without you, I might have been screwed in the ass by the spelling gorilla
Kellie: just looking out for you
Big BA: well I'm just saying that I appreciate it
Big BA: and I want to show you how much
Big BA: but I just don't know how

Okay, here we go with the main body of the convo!!

---

Big BA: I think it should be legal to eat people
Kellie: that is gross
Kellie: its called cannibalism
Big BA: as gross as a toenail in the eye?
Big BA: yeah so?
Big BA: one n or two?
Kellie: not that gross
Kellie: two
Big BA: lol I can't believe you answered that
Big BA: hey
Big BA: hey
Big BA: hey
Big BA: what do you think I would taste like?
Kellie: i have no idea
Kellie: lemon ice?
Big BA: maybe
Big BA: do you think I would be tough meat or not? I'm trying to decide... I mean, i run, but not a lot
Big BA: I think maybe I might be pretty good
Kellie: you're gonna have to do a taste test
Big BA: yes I think you're like
Big BA: right
Big BA: **
Big BA: I think I need to be cooked first...
Big BA: will you cook me?
Kellie: no
Big BA: why not?
Big BA: wouln't you like to see me roast over a fire, basting nicely, and then marinate me with a wonderful blend of herbs and spices and then eat me up with A1 sauce?
Big BA: wouldn't*
Kellie: you're freaking me out
Big BA: what the hell? cannibalism is freaking you out?
Big BA: don't you ever think about this stuff?
Kellie: can't say i do
Big BA: the donner party is my fricken hero
Big BA: I live for that story
Big BA: nothing better than people on the frontier resorting to cannibalism
Kellie: never heard it
Big BA: wtf??
Big BA: It's the most famous western frontier story EVER
Big BA: anyway
Big BA: they like ate their kid or something I don't recall
Big BA: but they ate someone
Kellie: omg
Kellie: thats awful
Big BA: no
Big BA: it's fricken AWESOME
Big BA: If I tasted anything like this luigi's real italian ice lemon ice thing I would eat me in a heartbeat.
Big BA: are you... ignoring me?
Big BA: do you want us to talk about you?
Kellie: i want us to not talk about eating people
Big BA: how your awesome cheerleader body would taste if you were cooked to perfection over an open fire in the foothills of the rockies in the harsh winter?
Kellie: STOP
Big BA: how come?????
Kellie: cannibalism is WRONG
Big BA: WHY IS IT SO WRONG?
Big BA: WHAT ABOUT ANIMALS THAT EAT EACHOTHER?!
Big BA: WHAT ABOUT THEM??
Big BA: THEY CAN DO IT
Big BA: WHY CAN'T PEOPLE????
Kellie: we're better than animals

~BA

thanks to good ol' dslreports.com i ran a test on my upload and download speed. while my download was rather dissapointing, i now apparently have an incredible upload speed.
My Report

all this tells me is that charter is full of incompotent retards who don't know how much bandwidth they should give me (but its all good o_0)

(hmm it seems as though my post has fu%25#ed up the news page for some reason, o well)

[Senpai's note: yeah damn you everything's always your fault, vash. But i fixed it now ^_^ *backs up templates.lib* ]

I can't believe how badly we owned.

---

Owned what?

---

The track meet.

My Download

Okay not only was i getting a slow download (i usually get 111 or so but this is an old file) but i also got an insane upload. I have gotten 120 kbps down and 92 kbps up but that is a completely different story.

Click me for a good time.
Big BA: hahahahahahaha
Big BA: oh man
Big BA: bolsheviks and the mensheviks... that takes me right back to 9th grade

I knew what I was going to update about this morning, but I forgot. It's Tuesday.

[Update half hour later...]
I remember what I was going to update with! The Stephen song lyrics!

Let's go...

Stephen
I want you to be my friend,
To the very end of all time,
Stephen I want to build you a nuclear power plant in the depths of Nevada.
There we can manufacture nuclear waste and uranium rods.
We can stick them in civilians in nearby Reno, Nevada.
There we can spread nuclear waste in hot-air balloons around the world killing the Vietnamese and Ukrainians and the South Africans!
And then we can over the south pacifc and smack them around,
And then we can take over eastern europe and smack them around too,
Just like Napolean Bonaparte.
We can take over Russia together,
And then you will assassinate me.
We won't be friends to the end cuz your thirst for power will kill me.
Yes.
I know it is true.
So I sit here eating PEZ wanting to be your friend and Ryan is playing guitar so I can sing my song for you.
Stephen,
You... rock... my... world...
With nuclear power!
Nuclear power, dropping nuclear bombs falling through the sky waiting for your mom to kill you
Yes Stephen, Stephen my friend.
Be my friend Stephen.

Yes, last Friday Dz0kh4r and I recorded some songs! Here is one I sang for Stephen! Oh yes for my nuclear weapon-obsessed Stephen!

Okay, well, Miles, you own.

Kellie: ahh i hate guys
Kellie signed off at 9:22:16 PM.

Vash: but im glad its done
Vash: it was really starting to piss me off
Big BA: mew tooo
Big BA: whoa
Vash: yeah you have to come play it
Big BA: that was like mew two
Big BA: kill me now
Vash: omg yeah i will

Hi KWIers. I'm overhauling the news updater once again. That has a few ramifications:

• Comments: they will be lost. Oh well. I am upgrading the comments to a new better format. This means that users can delete comments, it will display IPs of non-registered members, and more. BTW, there's no way for visitors to register. Maybe someday, if anybody cares (read: it won't happen), I'll allow visitors to "reserve" a certain username.
• Polls: It now has an integrated poller. It's better than the one we used to use.
• Code: The code will now be much more clean and good. I made more subroutines to streamline the code, even though nobody gives a damn. But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for myself.

BTW, vote in the new poll. I've tried to make the new poller as jerkass-loser-proof as possible. Which means you can't vote as many times as you want. Sorry.

~ Senpai
P.S.: Big BA, when you log into the admin center it should be obvious how to start a new poll. The poll link for users is /cgi-bin/kwi/poll.cgi, though it can also be included as a ssi with /cgi-bin/kwi/poll.cgi?do=ssi, though your little layout doesn't work with that.
P.P.S: I fixed the minor bug you complained about, Bill, in the code redesign, so you have absolutely nothing to bitch about.

Well! Yesterday was another Saturday racked with fun! Dz0kh4r spent the night Friday, and Ryan came over the next morning. At about 12 we went over to Frosti's and watched the un-official unveiling of Pride, 4m3r1k3n's new video. I have to say that it was the best video ever, it even tops the stuff put out by the real Yamakasi qr00. Anyway, we own. We went out and met AJ, Andy, and Cheney (Andy's bro... the man who invented Cheney.bas ^_^). We jumped around and stuff, but really didn't get anything good this week. We all went back to Frosti's and watched Pride (woohoo!). I obtained a copy and have thusly wet myself twice watching it at home. Seriously anyone who wants to see the coolest stuff ever done in TC, buy the video... All you have to do is talk to Mike or I at school and we'll get you a copy for like 2 bucks. Anyway... Things wrapped up at 3 cuz Ryan had to be home, so I mosied on home in a society-loathing attitude, watching people be disgusting (as they usually are...), so to make me feel better about the world I grabbed a flurry at Bardon's. Life rocked. Then it rocked better when Chelsea invited me to come have icecream. Oh yes, that's two times the icecream in ONE DAY!! AHHHH!

Bottom Line: Buy Pride and you'll be proud of yourself for doing it.

~BA

My Score

Unfortunately not, the above picture does show that when it works it works like a dream, that my non-DDR friends is my score after full comboing five songs in a row in an Oni Mode Course, im too lazy to explain but the point is, its cool. Anyways i am apparently having a "capacitance" problem and the pad works for awhile then ceases function until i unplug it then plug it back in. so its near complete but not quite ^^ peace-out
[Because BA's computer sucks, the image is screwed up. Deal with it.]

hello everyone! having fun with my new news account so i thought i would update on my home-made dancepad status. i am happy to say it is nearly complete, it would have been finished tonight unfortunately my cordless drill ran outta juice and it takes awhile to recharge so ill have to finish it in the morning. my next update will be filled with pictures and possibly movies of my dancepad in action. peace out ya'll

So, I was just downloading a movie in kazaa... and out of the blue it starts downloading at 1238KBps... WTF?! So yeah it only lasted for a little while but it was the coolest anomaly ever! I had some BFA Nyquil dreams last night, but they weren't like the first time I took Nyquil... Those were the best kind of dreams. You'd be half awake and half asleep like you were on speed and you'd be sweating and cold and you'd have one dream after another and you wouldn't even know what was going on. Nyquil is the best drug ever.

I just realized something... everyone hates me and loves Mike:

---

Yo Name, foo!: someone speial
Why havent you bought our vids yet?: cause i heard they suck
Do you like da site?: yes expecially stuff about mike
Do you like KWI?: yeah...only cause i like mike
Whatcho thinkin?: I LOVE MIKE
Whatcho Thinkin now?: I HATE BILL...actually not..i love bill too :)
How bout now?: ich liebe udo!
Got anythin else to say?: no not really..oh wait...bill: Gonzilla!

---

Yo Name, foo!: Andrea
Why havent you bought our vids yet?: Sorry guys,,, Im too cheap.
Do you like da site?: Surely
Do you like KWI?: Everyone minus Bill
Whatcho thinkin?: Bill can you suck anymore? I think not.
Whatcho Thinkin now?: I like how you warned me so much that its up to 40%25 you ass.
How bout now?: Hey to everyone else!
Got anythin else to say?: Mike you never responded to the love letter I wrote to you in Bills planner. My heart .. broken.

---

^o^ oh the wonderful hate!
~BA

NOTE TO MILES: You need to fix the updater. It adds a BR tag on the end of the update so there are extra spaces every time you modify. I know it's so the comments link isn't right next to the text, but I know it would be easy for you to make it take out the br...

Okay, well, I haven't really taken any nyquil yet... but I might later. Anyway, I'm sick so I came home after school and skipped track, and on the way home I went past some kids who wanted me to kick back a soccerball. I just kept on walking and they were like "HEY BUDDY! KICK US THE BALL!!" And I thought "Where in the hell do you get off calling me 'buddy'? You beligerant little assmongers better start showing some respect and call me 'upperclassman' or I'll have to dole out a little whoopass."

Kids today are so disrespectful. As a youth of 8 years old I would never have shown such beligerancy to someone of my age. I would have been ultra polite and even intimidated. I'm 6'2" and those little squirts are like 3 nothing. I hate little kids. I mean seriously! They were just as far from the ball as I was, I don't even know how they came up with the idea of shouting at me when their little hyperactive, non-sick ADHD legs could have carried them to the ball faster than my exhausted, sick ADHD legs. I really hate little kids.

Don't even start on me with "you were a little kid once, too, so be nice." I was the worst little kid ever! I was probably a monster! I know I was a monster! How could I not be?? I would have hated me a lot more than most little kids. You were a little kid, too, and guess what? You were a hyperactive prick and I would have hated you, too.

I'm going to go sleep. Someone tell coach I prolly won't be there tomorrow. ~BA

So, my uncle and I are talking, and he busts out the idea that I should write haiku for the newspaper. I decline and say that I am too embarrassed to write a form of poetry for the newspaper. But alas, we wrote a wonderful haiku:

Ojisan: alleys of traverse.
Ojisan: behind the city buildings.
Big BA: smelling of urine.

Oh how wonderous it all is! I love it!

Uh this is Frosti here, obviously, and I'm just here to tell y'all that the new 4M3R1K3N vid "Pride" will be done sum time next week. I've chopped up the first half of yesterday's footage but I still need the other stuff from Buckshot's camera to finish it off and do all the multi angle stuff. We are looking at about 13-14 minutes of hardcore parkour. I'm gonna see about breakking it into a couple parts.

Right now it features music from MSI, mc chris, Linkin Park, and Quarashi. There's gonna be more on their for the bloops, but as of right now it's baddass. Easily ten time the movie "Glory" was. Props to Andy for that sick jump, I'm gonna do that one at 310 next weekend screw that b17ch in the bunhole I'll jump over him and then ninja him in mid-air and then do the jump. Oh yeh just in case Ryan R. reads this do you want your name to be W33n1Z or Ryr0? Just drop a line to me in the awesome comments box below. Vash man yyou missed out. H07d4mn we 0wn3d yesterday! We gotta do this again soon. Like right now, no wait I hurt. 0w...

Okay, so yeah I was totally thrashed yesterday when I got home so I couldn't make an update going into detail about the preceeding events, but no worries, it's still fresh in my mind!

Frist of all, however, I have to reply to Senpai...
"Does anybody really care about KWI? What is it for me? A great big coding timesuck? And I don't mean it's taking time out of my coding. I mean that it's taking time out of my life. KWI is dying; KWI is a bunch of dreams fueled by apathy and acedia and a general lack of go-to-itness."
Yeah you're damn ****ing right KWI is a bunch of dreams fueled by apathy, and that's why I like it so much. I'm naturally drawn to apathy, and I'm sure everyone else in KWI is too... Not that I care. Nice word "acedia"... I had to look that one up.
acedia
n : apathy and inactivity in the practice of virtue (personified as one of the deadly sins) [syn: {sloth}, {laziness}]

Anyway, that was a hell of a lot of text for me to work through on a sunday morning, Miles, but I read every last bit of it and it occurrs to me that perhaps this site doesn't need a poll. I mean I'd be willing to go through every page and fix whatever I have to to make it work. After all, It's not like I have to rename all the pages, too, like last time. Anyway... I love you Senpai.

On to the events of yesterday! (yesterday is such a messed up word...)

Okay, so it started out innocently enough... I fell out of bed at 7:30 and landed partially on mike, and then I got back into bed and went to sleep. Wait... That's not when it started. It started at 10:00 when we got ourselves together and went to Kid's Kove. We hung out there for a while (Mike and I) and decided we were way too early, so after doing some stuff we went to Bardons and got some icecream. We saw Nathan there, who informed us of the March of Dimes and all the cool freebies we missed out on.

Chalk up the first "KUSO!" of the day.

But oh well, by that time it was 11 and we decided to slowly make our way back to the Kove. We got back there at like 11:55 or something and sat around waiting for our qroo. No one showed until about 12:30 when Ryan H. finally came. Woohoo #1! We did some awesome stuff with him (go yamakasi!) until his mom came to pick him up at 1:10. At around 1:30, Andy showed up with AJ! Another woohoo (#2)! I called Yacin and he said he wasn't going to be able to make it.

Chalk up the second "KUSO!" of the day.

Okay, so, we went over to the college and tried stuff. Andy amazed us with his backflips until Ryan called, at which point I hauled my ass over to Kids Kove on my bike (wearing rollerblades, I might add) and picked him up. We hauled back over to the college, then we went to get slurpees. Feeling refreshed, we sat around for a while and then walked over to the cafeteria, at which point Andy went crazy on our asses and did the coolest thing ever. He jumped off the 18 foot circular roof over a tree that was almost as high. Overall, it was the best jump of the day. Next, we walked over to Hyatt rail, where the best skaters ever were doing stuff. Ryro called, so I sprinted all the way across the college to Dennos and met up with him, then walked back to the rail. We had a nice chat and when we got back, John was there. Woohoo #3! I rode my bike back to Ryro's car and the rest mexican-styled it in John's car. We eventually made it over downtown, where we were promptly kicked out of one building's terrace. We slowly went across town doing shit and we found an awesome alleyway. I've never seen an alley in Traverse City before, so it was surprising. We climbed to the top of the building and then got back down. Fun fun! After that we went and did some awesome jumps over this stairwell... It was good fun, and just about the only thing I did that day. Ryro and Andy were definitely the two best jumpers of the day with the coolest stunts.

We moved the cars and then went and did some more stuff downtown before going to eat. After that we headed back to the cars and this was said:

---

Mike: I can drive... My penis has wheels!
Bill: I've got my level 1 penis license.
Ryan: So, You have to drive with your mom...?

---

Oh yes it was hilarious and in fact it was just one of the many hilarious things said. I got dropped off at home and that was that. The best day I've ever spent with my qroo... ^_^ 4m3r1k3n 0wnz0rz j00.

I'm out to spend time in my apathetic world ~BA

So I started working on the Poll part of the Admin Center, BA, and I was looking at layout.js to figure out how wide to make the template, and then I said to myself: "Uh-oh."

If I were to transform my thoughts into something like English, they might have gone like this: "OK: this poll works by, when it is called from a page, prints a very nice little table which is then included in the page so that people can vote right from the page; if they've already voted it just shows them the poll results. However, Bill has made his little layout entirely out of Javascript, and you can't do Server Side Includes with JavaScript. That means either that Bill, if he wants to move into the future, has to make a site that uses SSIs for the templates, or that I have to code in a lot more stuff, especially considering that I've just been building the templates so far and not coding, so there isn't a lot of code, so that'll just make what I have to code a lot bigger. So the end result is that if Bill wants to implement this into KWI it's not going to be nearly as elegant as I had planned; it'll be... less elegant. And more work for me. And I'm lazy, so I'm going to make it so that he's the one that has to do all the work which means that it will never get done and it's one fifteen in the morning and if I spend any more time on this script at this point it won't accomplish anything and I'll end up with a sloppier product. Which won't be used because the current KWI layout is incapable of handling the future. Except that if he had done his damned layout with SSIs in the first place like I had wanted him to it STILL would have been impossible, because you can't put a SSI in a SSI! So really what I wanted him to do was to use a half-decent HTML editor like Dreamweaver (which he would just pirate anyways) and use the templates features which would have been perfect and saved everyone a lot of work and me a lot of coding hassle. Then I could have plugged this thing in easily. So the end result is that we're screwed anyways." And then I started thinking thoughts which were overall negative towards other people and I really shouldn't put in here if I wanted to have friends (incidentally that was part of what those negative thoughts were about) and then my brain went on to think, "Damn, it's late. I should really go to bed. I can't believe I've spent the last ten minutes typing all this up when nobody gives a flying fuck what I think. Does anybody really care about KWI? What is it for me? A great big coding timesuck? And I don't mean it's taking time out of my coding. I mean that it's taking time out of my life. KWI is dying; KWI is a bunch of dreams fueled by apathy and acedia and a general lack of go-to-itness. So I guess I should go to bed."

And I did.

~Senpai

Rock on senpai. I love this. I went out and had fun today. I'll tell you more later. All I can tell you for now is that Mike, Ryan H, Ryan R, Andy, AJ, and John H were involved in my shinannigans today.

Please hang on. i'm switching KWI over to the new news editor.

Why a new news editor?
Well, the old one was getting outdated, though it was solid and trustworthy. I wrote this updater; it will allow us to do cool things like have users comment on news items (go ahead: try it) and allow KWI members to start polls quickly and easily without having to go to a stupid different site which can be easily messed up by someone with too much time on their hands.

Who made the new editor?
Me. And it is good.

What does this mean for the old updates?
I was able to convert the NewsPro newsdata format to the new format, through sheer genius, grep searching, and Perl. However, there was an unfortunate side effect: Special characters will be corrupted in the old news. If Big BA or someone wants to go into the old news and fix that, please by all means do. But it will have to be done manually, because I don't know the character set that the old editor used.

How do I make updates?
IM me and I'll set you up with a new account. It will have to be done over.

Raves:
Big BA: nice.
...
Big BA: I like it
Big BA: with my peepee
...
Big BA: okay
Big BA: rock on!
Big BA: ^o^
Big BA: I love you
Big BA: with all of my body
Big BA: and part of my soul
...
Big BA: I LOVE THE MODIFY NEWS THING
Big BA: YOU CAN SEE ALL THE UPDATES
Big BA: ROCK ON
Big BA: YOURS OWNZ THE NEWSPRO

I have created a new poll for everyone to take because the other one was stupid and some asshole ruined it. Enjoy.

Me: YEAH ive been on AIM longer than you
Dave: But you're older than me.
Dave: If I were as old as you, I'd have been on aim longer.
Me: uhh
Me: no
Dave: How old are you?
Me: 15
Dave: shit I n00bed
Me: yeah totally
Me: n00b
Dave: :'(

BA's Dad: bill put chanel 54 on they are making a futon bed when they come back from the commercial
BA's Dad: they just showed making a frame for the platform but that is all so far
Big BA: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Big BA: k
Big BA: okay
BA's Dad: we shall see if they spend a little time showing what they did but the first part was just taking like 1x4 or 1x6 boards and making a flat surface
BA's Dad: this is not the bed!
BA's Dad: forget the ad
BA's Dad: lol
Big BA: lol
Big BA: ??
BA's Dad: watch
Big BA: I'm not seeing shiki, kake, or other parts of a buton
BA's Dad: they will get to it I hope
Big BA: okay
Big BA: wow that is nasty
BA's Dad: purple walls
Big BA: yeah
BA's Dad: very hokie
BA's Dad: there
BA's Dad: see
BA's Dad: hmmmm
BA's Dad: well that was odd but looked good for the base
Big BA: I MISSED IT
Big BA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BA's Dad: what was the mat they put on the thing
Big BA: jbnmsnjbk.dvsb nmsnsadnjkdsv
:"
BA's Dad: how could you miss it???
Big BA: I wasn't watching
Big BA: because I thought they were doibfgbnasg;sdaglaksdg;lkh;dglkahdgs;ihioghizzgwbKLU awny8opvwthnad
Big BA: {Lbtjh gnjlksygrl'kjhatnng
Big BA: ;"KLbMNKL;nKbn
Big BA: ;KdgAN
:Ikd
Big BA: ;nkgd
Big BA: lnkDGA
Big BA: LKADF
BA's Dad: ok well too bad
Big BA: 'lbnjkaD
:BNKadbk
Big BA: GJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Big BA: I"M SO ANGRY
Big BA: KAH
Big BA: I"M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NOW
BA's Dad: it was not that big a deal
Big BA: HW COULD I MISS IT?!
Big BA: YES IT WAS
Big BA: I FOUDN THE REMOTE
Big BA: TURNED THE TV ON
Big BA: WATCHED THEM PAINT THE ROOM PURPLE
BA's Dad: they only showed it for a sec
Big BA: TURNED AWAY FOR A MINUTE
Big BA: AND MISSED IT
Big BA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh
BA's Dad: it was a dark stained platform
Big BA: I still missed it.
BA's Dad: and some stupid single cushion that did not cover the whole thing
BA's Dad: it looked like about a 4 inch think
BA's Dad: thick
Big BA: that was the shikibuton
BA's Dad: pad
Big BA: here we go
BA's Dad: oh
Big BA: l;sjdfkaj;laskdjf;kjds here we go
BA's Dad: k
Big BA: here we go
Big BA: here we go
Big BA: SHOW IT!
Big BA: SHOW IT!
Big BA: SHOW IT!
Big BA: SHOW IT!
Big BA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
Big BA: NOW
Big BA: NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
Big BA: oh
Big BA: that's not a shikibuton
Big BA: but that's a cool platform
BA's Dad: yeah that was the good idea from it
Big BA: that 'futon' is a butt. it's not a real futon
Big BA: I hate how they took something from the japanese and made it american
Big BA: it's a lie
BA's Dad: the main thing to me was the platform
Big BA: *is steamed over missing it the first time around*
Big BA: well the platform is the coolest thing ever
BA's Dad: we could easily make that
Big BA: okay
BA's Dad: k that was it
BA's Dad: and you did see it about 10 times
BA's Dad: 11
Big BA: lol
BA's Dad: 12
BA's Dad: 13
BA's Dad: 14
BA's Dad: 15
BA's Dad: 16
BA's Dad: 17
Big BA: okay
Big BA: okay
Big BA: I see it
BA's Dad: 18
Big BA: 19
BA's Dad: 20
Big BA: 21
BA's Dad: 21
BA's Dad: 22
Big BA: 23
BA's Dad: 23
Big BA: stop now
BA's Dad: 24
Big BA: no
Big BA: that's the old room
BA's Dad: ok mom changed the chanel
Big BA: okay
BA's Dad: so I was guessing

"By the second week in September I reached the conclusion that a college education was meaningless. I decided to think of it as a period of training techniques for dealing with boredom." ~Norwegian Wood, by Haruki Murakami

So tonight Senpai made me spend about 30 minutes fixing all the stupid dead links on KWI. I understand now why people don't fix dead links right away: because it's tedious and incredibly unmotivated. I mean, what do I care if you can't find the page you want?

Here is the message that led up to this:
Senpai: IF you don't fucking fix the broken links within KWI i'm going to get pissed.
Senpai: I can give you a list of them.
Big BA: fine
Big BA: I found a few and almost fixed them
Big BA: but then I was like "let's piss off miles some more"
Senpai: :-\ don't you want to know how pissed I would be?
Big BA: no...
Senpai: i could just tell you
Big BA: you'll be more pissed after you give me the list, I don't fix them, and then I 'lose' the list
Senpai: yeah
Big BA: how pissed?
Senpai: i'd use .htaccess to deny all pages and then pull the plug on your FTP account
Senpai: mm
Senpai: maybe not THAT pissed
Big BA: what the fuck, it's that much of a problem to have broken links?
Senpai: yes
Senpai: i'm getting a fucking lot of errors in my log
Big BA: grrr
Big BA: give me the fucking list
Big BA: how can people be getting that many errors?
Senpai: ok, I can't tell you what files link to what non-files
Big BA: no one visits the thing
Senpai: but I can tell you what files contain the bad links
Senpai: and what bad links there are
Big BA: fine
Big BA: just email me the fuckin error log

So basically what was said was:
Senpai: I'll fucking fuck fuck fuck fucker TAKE YOUR LIFE FROM YOU fuck fucking fucka
Big BA: Alright, If you will send me a list of the numerous aforementioned erroneous links, I will gladly fix them all as fast as is humanly possible. I love you. I only wish kindness upon small woodland creatures.

kombanwa ~BA

As I sit here waiting for my IRC server, aniverse, to recover from the dosing it just received from an unknown hacker, I recall my days in DALnet, where netsplits were a daily happenning that no one paid any mind to. I received a message from a Help last week telling me that there would be a netsplit and approximately 5000 people would experience it, because he had to reboot the server (for the first time in 174 days). This was remarkable to me, because, I realized, Aniverse never had a netsplit before that. As I think about it now, DALnet was the shittiest server in existence, and I wonder why I ever used it.
*thanks for you time, I needed to nerd on you for a second*

Here's a quicky. Lauren's hot, so quickies are fine.
[001][002][003][004][005][006][007][008]
I think that's all. Oyasumi!

The sandcastle pictures are uploaded, so look for an update at like 6:30 if I don't have too much homework.

UPDATE:
ÝÝÝÝÝÝ"i saw the pic and now more than ever I wish sex with lauren" - Frosti
Okay, so, this is it! Last night, as you most certainly must have read, Jordie and Lauren came over and we built some sand castles! Here they are:

001: Jordie and Lauren stroking the giant sandst¸ck.
002: The head of the sandst¸ck.
003: There are krabs in this sandst¸ck!!
004: BA Stroking his wang.
005: The webbos.
006: Lauren raking the sandst¸ck.
007: Stomping the sandst¸ck.
008: Lauren about to wack it.
009: Naked chick sandcastle.
010: A side view.
011: BA on the chick.
012: Still on the chick.
013: More of BA on the chick.
014: Jordie grooming the chick.
015: Lauren fixing the teeth.
016: The chick's new face.
017: Jordie digging out the chick.
018: Censored.
019: The chick's ugly face.

I'll have some pictures of just Lauren up later... because I kno~~~w it'll make her happy if I share them with everyone.

^o^ ~BA

I was graced by the presence of Jordie and Lauren tonight... if you don't know who they are, suck it, because I totally talked about lauren a whole bunch at the beginning of the year and even put some of our convos up.... and if you don't know Jordie then you are missing out. Anyway

ATTN ANYONE WHO WAS SWORN AT, SEXUALLY CONFRONTED BY, AND/OR INSTANT MOLESTED BY MY SCREEN NAME BETWEEN THE TIMES OF 8:30PM and 9:00PM TONIGHT:
That wasn't me... but if you hate me still... Then get on your knees and suck the devil's crotch!

Yeah... I will put up some fun and interesting photos tomorrow when I get home from school!

I'm out for the night ~BA

Maddox RAWWWWWWKS

Oh yeah, Frosti and I finished our first song tonight, so eat it world, and then suck it, massage it, and caress it gently, because you're on your knees for one reason: to please. Our first single is ADHD, so give it up for hyperactive kiddies everywhere.

Frosti's shirt ownz

Frosti: this is seriously the sexiest shirt ever made
Big BA: hahaha
Big BA: awesome
Big BA: I wanna see
Big BA: did I tell you you could spend the night yet?
Frosti: it looks exactly like the cover of his new album and she made it from scratch
Frosti: yeh
Frosti: i'm wearing it tomorrow
Big BA: bad ass
Frosti: i hope it's not covered in jizz

Weird.~BA

Last Update
Colene (6:27:12 PM): why is macbeth on KWI?
Because we have far far too many inside jokes for you to even comprehend, colene.

BA's Room
Ohhhhh! Hot J-ch1x0r on my walls, baby!! ^_^ x 1,000,000,000
(sorry about the mega glare on the second one... I was too lazy to turn the flash off...)

Vash's Pad
Okay, I'm moving the pictures for vash. I'm waaaay too lazy to look at the pictures and put descriptions next to the links, so all you get are filename links.
- fullpad.jpg
- lackofwiring.jpg
- leftarrow.jpg
- wholepadangle.jpg
I'm out ~BA

This foolish boy, I fear he know's too much. I cannot let him show the world my stupidity. Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee! I go, and it is done. The bell invites me. Hear it not,Big BA, for it is a knell that summons thee to heaven, or to hell. Thou shallst now know not to cross thine former friend, Frosti.

Hehehe, did anyone else see how in Senpai's last update he called himself "Sempai" instead of Senpai, so I'm not the only idiot in KWI, of course everybody else already knew that, oh well.

[Edit by BA]
No he didn't. He was talking about typing it that way:
"- Sempai (as a name) sucks. **** proper romaji; you're led me astray too long for me to change now. Senpai lives on. Besides, it's a subtle allegory detailing man's inhumanity to man."

I'm back home!!! YAY! By the way everyone: SVLW stands for Small Vagina Large Wiener. *sigh* I don't want to be home.

This sums it up, Yacin, "Like every ch1x0r in japan is hot. I am not even close to joking..."

i dunno BA Ayumi Hamasaki... shes very hott... maybe even HOTTER... you never know d00d... you never know

lol... allegory. Aya Matsuura is a babe.

Sorry I didn't update for you while I was in NY, but I have 12 words for you:

Life is too short to type long paragraphs on a cell phone.

Plus, the only person that would read what I updated would probably be Stephen, and him just because he's my update mechanism. ^_~

Some notes:
- Sempai (as a name) sucks. **** proper romaji; you're led me astray too long for me to change now. Senpai lives on. Besides, it's a subtle allegory detailing man's inhumanity to man.
- Big BA, you're spoiled. Complaining about 11 hours in a plane? Ha! What luxury! ;-P
- Vash: Free tokens rock nutx0rz. Way to be a l33t DDR champ.
- KWI_Basher: thanks
- New York was awesome yet not.

Howdy everyone! I pretty much forgot about updating cuz i generally have nothing to update about. Plus i forgot to anyways, DDR homepad construction is currently at a halt its all done except i hafta solder it to the controller :\. Its a real pain and it doesn't help that i can't solder (my brother can so its all good). Anyways i took some pictures and bill will get em uploaded tomorrow or something like that, i forget. Also everyone should goto the Great Wolf Lodge's Arcade and play some DDRMAX2, its great im like the only one who plays it AND the guy was impressed by my doubles/heavy skillz he gave me two free credits it was l337.
yacin = teh win
Thank you for your time

I'm back in my aunt and uncle's pad right now, and I have to say, I'm fuckin tired. I just got off an 11 hour plane ride... Which is considerably better than the 14 hour flight there. Anyway... I am proud, I have left cookies at over 4 different locations throughout Japan, so anyone could randomly come to this site and add updates, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.
Okay, so, having been to numerous convenience stores during my stay in japan, I will now review them for you!

Chain Name	Review	Bonus	Rating
Lawson	There is a Lawson on almost every corner in Japan, but their ice cream selection was limited as far as I could tell.	None	6/10
AM/PM	There are two of these on almost every block in Japan... Tsukiji? oh yes there are a few in the fish docks. Kabukicho? Hell fuckin yes there is an AMPM in the strip district. How could you possibly strip without a nice ice cream bar to start off your night?!	Hot Babe Magazines	9/10
Seben Ereben	I went here every night for a week when I was in Kyoto. This place was my ice cream bitch! There aren't any slurpees, however, in this Japanese import of a wonderful american tobako store.	Nope	8/10
Circle K	I didn't go in to one, but I'm sure all the porno in the world was in the one I saw in Kyoto, because I didn't see porno anywhere else.	*shrugs*	??/10
Sunkus	This little bitch of a store had everything I needed, and I got a kawaii umbrella from there, too! sanhyakuen!! GOOOO! Good icecream selection, too!	Nice Selection	9/10
Family Store	No ichigo bread. You can die and go to hell, family store!!! DISHONOR DISHONOR DISHONOR YOU HAVE NO HONOR! DISHONOR ON YOUR MOTHER, DISHONOR ON YOUR FATHER, DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE DAMN FAMILY FOR NOT CARRYING STRAWBERRY JAM FILLED BREAD DAMMIT THAT WAS MY LIFELINE IN JAPAN AND YOU SMASHED IT INTO THE GROUND BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO FUCKING CHEAP TO JUST CARRY ONE KIND OF BREAD THAT A DAMN GAIJIN LIKE MYSELF WOULD NEED TO LIVE AHHHH *COMMITS SEPPUKU AGAIN*	obviously none.	0/10
Daily Store	They had toilet paper so i could clean the crap out of my pants after that.	TP	5/10

That is my trip in a nutshell. Where I could find porno and icecream. I couldn't find any of the former. :-/ sorry guys. Rock on Morning Musume for having the hottest girls in Japan!
Oh, I have more! Good job Sempai on updating the news update pages, I love the new look. Also, Frosti, good call on typing it sempai, because that's definitely how you type it ('n' before 'p','b' becomes 'm'). Also... Sempai you have forgotten that I have had two April 13ths! I arrive home on the 14th, rather than the 15th. Maybe I just fed you bad information, though.

Lemme just clarify this: I am not happy to be home. I enjoy the carefree lifestyle I have had over the past 2 weeks and responsibility sucks. That is all~
Japanese Ettekwquite (not in a spelling mood)
Big BA: picking your nose in japan is totally okay
Big BA: like in public
Big BA: chicks dig it
Big BA: and snarfing too
Big BA: totally
Big BA: you can do it anywhere
Vash: are you serious!
Big BA: yeah
Vash: i would totally fit in lol
Big BA: just fuckin cover up a nostril and blow and you have a babe right there ready to pork
Big BA: she's like "I saw you snarfing, it's totally hot! pork me"
Big BA: only in japanese

I would like to appologize for my spelling over the past few weeks. I realize that it hasn't been great, and I am sorry.

Frosti again, feelin kinda sad I had to meet up with Rachel and help her make her movie last night but oh well. I did see my boy Stakt Dek from the "other" group acros town, the b-boys(b for beatin off) and sum off his friends and that was cool. Uh I wanna talk to Sempai when he gets back about adding sum of the sub groups of KWI to the website. In case you are totally lost let me clarify:

The Kids With Issues Productions you know is a movie making comedy troupe. But as I have stated previously we represent so much more. KWI Productions covers so much more than just the comedies we are in. For instance we offer an amazing editing/production/direction for other people's movie making needs. We also have a sports group, who practice the art of le Parkour, a sort of urban climbing. And we have a group called 4M3R1K3N we arre working on our 2nd movie, Pride. We also have a musical aspect with the ninja rap group Cheese & Crackers, whose CD is currently in progress. All of these things and many other things that are all a large part of the KWI empire. And I feel they should be getting a little more attention, don't you? So Next week when Miles and Bill come back tell 'em you support Frosti for supreme ruler of all KW... er just tell 'em you want the new additions to the website.

~Frosti out~

Well! Today is my last day in Japan, how about that... It seems like I've been here my entire life, and now it's time to just get up and leave for a foreign country... :-p I'm in my hotel's business center here, and I have like no time left, so I have to keep this short. Uhh... I guess that's it, I'm leaving tomorrow at 11:00AM and I'm getting into JFK at 10:00AM... so it's only an 11 hour flight, as opposed to the 14 hours it took to get here ^_^. I'll see you all Tuesday morning! (with or without omiyage, we'll see if I'm feeling the effects of jet lag or not!)

~BA

So... Senpai was a lazy bum and has not actually given me - everyone's favorite KWI_Basher - a full update to post for him, so I am going to have to improvise.

Senpai (7:34 PM): I left you part of an update
Senpai (7:34 PM): At 11 am
Senpai (7:35 PM): But someone signed you off
KWI_Basher (7:38 PM): .heh.
KWI_Basher (7:38 PM): shh
KWI_Basher (7:38 PM): dinner
Senpai (7:40 PM): Check your logs for the first half
Senpai (7:41 PM): Don't put it on the site yet
KWI_Basher (7:43 PM): ok

Well. I won't actually put what he gave me, because this is not my site... but I thought I would give you all a little bit of text I stumbled across... given KWI's severe appetite for information.

"...mmH .pirt sub retrahc tsal ym no nwod ekorb taht usb eht sa ynapmoc emas eht morf saw nwod ekorb taht sub eht taht ereht tas ew sa em ot derucco tI .thgin tsal 01 ta nwod ekorb sesub eht fo eno esuaceb eludehcs dniheb yaw er'ew ,haey ;kroY weN edistuo sruoh wef a llits er'ew dna .m.p 11 ta sub a no gnittis m'I .ereh iapneS !snaf IWK yeH"

Oh. KWI_Basher will have a real update for you when appropriate... then I get to use the nifty Modify News function.

Wow, I`m back in the virgin megastore right now, and I am hungry as hell. I am happy to hear that you are in NY, Senpai! how long are you going to be there? I do not recall if you specified in your update, and i am too tired to go check again... But if we do meet it will be on Sunday morning in JFK or Monday morning in LaGuardia.... Holy crap this vacation has been a whirlwind and it is finally winding down... I have a bunch of kawaii j-pop posters and some Ayumi Hamasaki CDs, along with a Morning Musume CD, and a bad ass X-Japan CD... GO ME! Anyway, I`m in Shinjuku right now, so rock on porno videos! There`s a porn shop on every corner and alley here ^_^. Okay, I`m out.... Rock on Frosti for having mafia connections, I`ll keep your asian shit tight here while I`m in Japan if you keep my whiteboy shit tight at home in WASPy TC :-P. Wow I cannot believe I just used a Weber-ism... I need commit seppuku now ^_~. Okay, I`m out
~BA

Frosti here in TC just holdin up the fort. One of the few members who isn't leaving anywhere. Trying to keep the ADHD levels up by myself. It's hard to be as funny as usually with out some teamwork, but I try.

Uh trying to put sum content in here, as I will be trying to regularlly update while everyones gone, In case you didn't know we are entering our new film "Ninja Wang: FINAL DESTINY" in the Film Fest on May 13. We have enlisted the help of our mafia friends to keep down any other potentials. We intend to win. If you har about any other movies entering tell me so I can not do anything.

Anyway that's all for now.

~Frosti out~

Hey you KWI groupies! (By KWI groupies I mean the one or two of you that check the website semi-regularly, as well as the thronging masses that stumble across this page when looking for pictures of perverted things) Well, it's 6:30 in the morning, and today is the day that Operation SVLW branches out into two parts: Operation SVLWNY, my branch to New York, and whatever the hell Bill decides to call his branch. Probably still SVLW. Eh, whatever.

*cough* Anyways, I'll try to make the occasional update from New York—not that I'm trying to take over your dealy, bill, just to keep things interesting—so I can keep you all updated on what's up in the Big Apple! Yay! Maybe, in a bizarre twist of fate, even though we won't be in NY within 24 hours of each other, Big BA and I could run into each other! Mirabile dictu! Truely, wacky hijinks would ensue~!

Catch you on the flip side,
~Senpai out

Konnichiwa, everyone! I know you`re all sound asleep right now... at least most of you are, sincce it is definitely 3:22 in the morning your time... I am in Tokyo right now, as the map that Senpai so dilligently created indicates. I will be here until this Sunday. How wonderful it is here?! I just got back from the park down the street and I have to say, sakura are hot sexy delicious flowers. I must have about 30 minutes of film with nothing but sakura. I suppose you all are wondering what SVLW stands for... Maybe I will tell you when I get back! For now it is off to look for some beautiful beautiful J-pop! (damn straight yacin, I`ma grab you some! Ayumi hamasaki alright? Maybe I will just get you some Morning Musume....)

Anyway, Oyasumi nasai, my KWI koibitos!!

Komban wa! I`m sitting here in the Kyoto University Center`s computer center again updating for you. Today I went to Ise and the weather was totally shitty. It rained and poured and blew like no other. Anyway, the shinto shrines in Ise weren`t that great, but I`m sure that if it had been nice out I would have enjoyed them a lot more. Tomorrow (sunday) I am just going to wander around Kyoto and then I think I am going to Tokyo on Monday, where I will reside for the rest of my vacation here. Umm.... I found a ton of posters of Ayuki Hamasaki (I nabbed one for you Yacin, and i think I might get a few more tonight, so you can have your pick of poasters when i see you next). There are a TON of seriously hot J-pop singers... If you are looking for pictures of other hot ch1x0r, yacin, look for pictures of Natsumi Abe. Ahh... Mike; no happy mags for you yet. I`m working on my ability to sneak away from oji- and oba-san, and soon I might get some. I dunno. If not you are going to have to settle for some posters of hot J-ch1x0r. ano... what else... I guess that is it! Have a good saturday, everyone, and I will update for you as soon as possible. (which might not be until I get back.. we will see how things are in Tokyo).

Buhbye!!

I have no time so here is the email i wrote my dad, it is really all I have to say, anyway...

"Indeed I have ridden (lol is that even a word?) on a shinkansen (bullet train). Thy are ultra-cool. I have plenty of footage out of the window of them, so when I get home you can see what they are like for yourself. Today is most definitely thursday, and time has been flying by like nothing! Last night I went out with aunt jess to see the geisha and the sakura (cherry blossoms) which were in full bloom. Oji-san was feeling a little sick (actually a lot sick) so he did not come. Today oji-san and I went to .... wow I already forgot what the first place was that we went to. Anyway, after that we went to Himeji-jo, a castle in Himeji. It was ultra cool. Anyway, oji-san wants me to go so i guess I should wrap this up!
I miss you tons!
~BA"

Also:
holy shit frosti, that is badass... No happy mags for you yet... I have to find some time to go out alone and fetch some for you and yacin. 22 minutes is a long movie, d00d! Wrah I love that you finished though. good job.

Oyasumi nasai!!!

First off I know I am messing up the SVLW set-up but Senpai can fix that later. Second this is not the flavors of the week. This is a news flash stating that I, Frosti of KWI, have successfully completed editing the greatest movie ever that is called Ninja Wang: FINAL DESTINY. Following the rite of passage of young Mistah Woolah, reciever of the Ultramega Super Sword, he is attacked by Justin Timberlake of a rival boy band clan. Woolah must use his parkour skillz to retrive the powerfu weapon. Featuring Mr. Ruler, Big BA, and Frosti, we will be entering it in the Film Fest sponsered by our school. It is 22 minutes long, and I expect a sequel sometime this summer, and Japanese happy magazines from BA.

~thank you and good night(I own mc chris' new CD)

ohaiyo gozaimasu! I`m in Kyoto University right now using their free internet access, but I only have a few minutes left. I have to say that this trip seriously kicks ass. yesterday I went on a tour of the area around Mt Fuji, and I also went about half way up it (It is covered in snow... like 7 feet of snow. I also visited Hakone (an area next to Fujisan). That was rather interesting. The plane ride over here was almost unbearable (anyone who really knows me could figure out how sitting in the same spot for 13 hours with 0 leg room might be difficult. Anyway, I watched Harry Potter 3 times, so everything was okay. *winkyface* (If I could make a winky face with this keyboard I would, but I cannot.) So, I am learning quite a bit of Japanese here, and how to read signs, et cetera, though most things are in english as well as Japanese. oh!! Like every ch1x0r in japan is hot. I am not even close to joking... Well, I guess I will hit the road... All i have left to talk about is the onsen in the ryokan I stayed at last night, but i know you do not want to hear about naked old men walking around and bathing with me. *winkyface* (I know there have to be some ch1x0r that visit this page... I think I just pleased you by not talking about that.)
Hai dozo!!
koibito wa ikura desu ka? doko desu ka?
-BA
messages to people:
Jennivive- muah! anata wa kawaii desu yo! :-P
Kellie- ... anata wa ichiban koibito desu!
Mike- You bitch, why the hell aren`t you here?! You should be!
Senpai- j00 rock, I miss you!
Vash- You and your golden penis... There is fricken porno everywhere, I will seriously try my best to get you some.
-I`m out!

Time: 10:33PM EST
Location: New York, New York (Manhattan)
Status: Tired
Well, today was definitely interesting. My plane was delayed in Traverse City because the weather was being kind of stupid, so I had to go and get a new flight in Chicago, because my arrival time was the same as my departure time... and even if I was good at track I couldn't have made it to the plane on time. So, I sat and talked to Hayden for a while while I waited (he just happened to be there, too), and then we finally got on the plane. I got in to Chicago at 5:00 their time (I left at 5:00 our time...), and it's a damn good thing that I woke up because I was sound asleep when we landed... And for a good 3 minutes after everyone had gotten off the plane ^_^. I got on my plane in Chicago no problem, though, and my flight to NY was excellent. I listened to the same techno mix on the entire plane ride (go 70 minute mixes!!!), needless to say I'm a little awake right now. I met oji-san (uncle, for all of you non-japanese speaking people out there ^_^) at the end of the terminal and we hit the road, making impressive time to the apartment, where I am now. My aunt had Chinese food waiting for us when we got back, which rocked. Go lo mein!! I'm terribly psyched about this trip... domo arigatou for the KWI update, senpai-san! Tomorrow at 7:30 I leave to go to JFK to get out of NY, and I'm on my way to Japan! I probably won't get internet access while I'm there... And even if I do, I probably won't have enough time to properly inform you of what has gone on. I'll fill everyone in on all the details when I get back on the 13th or 14th... */me is unsure when he'll get back* Operation SVLW is underway! ~BA

I hope you check out the site sometime soon d00d ^_^. I made two beats, check them out. The first one sucks, the second one is a lot better.

- Beat 004: ~10 seconds
- Beat 005: ~55 seconds

Yeah, you fanatic C&C bitches (am I fooling myself into thinking that people want to buy this CD? No, someone who just read one rhyme said he'd buy it. It's that awesome), these beats will probably be on the CD.
~BA

I'm in Mass Media right now and we just finished thinking up 10 trivia questions. Holy crap what a waste of time that was. I decided to update so I could share that with everyone. Vash, keep up the good work on your DDR pads, the one you uploaded is seriously the shit.

GTO 23-43 is mine. ~BA

Everyone that comes to KWI comes here for one reason: porno.

This query was the best one: pictures "8th grade girls" naked -basketball -soccer

Hello everyone! I haven't updated in awhile cuz I'm a lazy a$#hole but let me tell you I am actually DOING something! How cool is that?! I'm building a DDR Metal Dance Pad, why you ask? Well first off I'm an nerd and all the coolest nerds play DDR. Most of you prolly won't know what it is except some of you cool @$$ nerds out there. Anyways I am so pumped about it that I decided I would share with all of you wonderful people how totally fabulous my dance pad construction is
Day 1 & 2 I'm combining the first two days cuz not much happened
On the first day I had to re-cut all the wood cuz the d00d at Home Depot wasn't close enough for me (but he didn't charge $ so its all good :p)
and then I attached the sheet metal to the panels.
MetalPanel
On the second day AKA today I attached all 5 of the metal panels to the base which I also contructed today. It was a lot of work but i managed to do it and its looking good! o_0
WholePad
(I apologize for the quality, my basement is dark ^_^)

Okay, so, Mike was thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had Attention Deficit Hardcore Disorder (ADHD). The mere fact that he wondered should be a tipoff that he had it. So, what would any AT kid do that wondered if he had ADHD? Go find a test on the net of course. We went to the school library and printed off a few tests and did them before German class. We discovered that we both had ADHD... But I already knew I had it, cuz I was diagnosed with it in 3rd grade. Anyway, here are the results:

20 checkmarks or more means you have ADHD (there are a total of 71 possible)

Mike: 46 Checks (65% ADHD)
Bill: 55 Checks (77% ADHD)
Ryan: 41 Checks (58% ADHD)
Lisa (BA's Sis): 62 Checks (87% ADHD)
Senpai: 16 Checks (No ADHD, but 23%, if he had it.)
Andrea: 5 Checks (No ADHD... liar)
If you want to take the test, take it here.
~BA

Central cheerleaders don't talk to me anymore. I'm crying. On the inside. :'(

Okay, so here's what's up with Mission Issues. Senpai had the tape unlocked because he was being a good boy and exporting Fruity Cocktail (a very funny movie) onto a tape for Frosti. He stuck in the Mission Issues tape and left it. So, his sister picked up the camera and started taping the neighbors' houses. Wow.

Senpai: holy ****

---

Auto response from Big BA: (6:17:32 PM): boku wa bangohan o tabemasu.

---

Senpai: we just lost the first 4 minutes of mission issues
Senpai: jesus christ why is my sister always doing this
Senpai: ****Y ****Y ****Y
Big BA: what in ***k's name did she do?
Senpai: she recorded over the only digital copy of M:I
Senpai: in fact
Senpai: i don't even have a VHS copy
Big BA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big BA: WHY THE **** DID SHE DO THAT?!
Senpai: BECAUSE I *****ING UNPROTECTED THE "KWI FINAL" TAPE TO COPY FRUITY COCKTAIL OFF OF MY HARD DRIVE SO I COULD GET IT'S ****ING 8 GIG OFF OF MY HARD DRIVE AND I LEFT THE TAPE IN THE CAMCORDER BECAUSE I FINISHED THE TAPE AT 11PM AND I WAS TIRED ****IT.
Big BA: *sigh*
Senpai: AND THEN WE HAVE 5 MINUTES OF HER COMMENTARY OF THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSES
Senpai: AND THAT NEVER GETS OLD TO HER.

It's all just so sad...

KWI Poll

---

- 100% of the people who asked me to bring them something back from the land of the rising sun asked for porno.
- 0% asked for something else.

DRAMA!! ~BA
(I updated the test taking tips page.)

Rest in Peace, Mission: Issues.

In case you hadn't noticed, the titles of these updates are parts of songs. Rock on Mindless Self Indulgence. Since I don't have anything good to say you can read this:

I was in the car with my mom today and she pulled out too far in the intersection and the light turned red so she backed up and the bitch behind us didn't back up so my mom could, and I was like "you know what, she's a WHORE." and my mom goes "WILLIAM!!!"

Amazon.com... What in the Hell??

~BA

I'm drinking orange juice.
No I'm not going to take back what I said.

"My little choo choo got off it's track..."
     -Mr. Lalonde

Okay, so no really I wanted to tell everyone that track is such an awesome sport because not only is there a guys track, there's a girls track, too. I know that it may take you a few minutes to understand that one, because you aren't that bright, but some of you must have gotten it the first time through, so let's continue.
Girls who do these sports automatically have an increased hotness factor:
-Competitive Cheerleading (it's not a sport unless it's competitive... Kellie is still hot, even though she doesn't compete. Hell all of the West cheerleaders are hot. Central can get on its knees and suck West.)
-Tennis
-Track
-Volleyball (<-thanks for reminding me, Andrea)
I hope the snow melts soon... because where there are hot girls outdoors, there are hot girls in tight, small clothing.

**IM FUN!**
Okay, so check it, Miles and I decided to have some fun with dan because he's a fun guy to have fun with... (*snicker* riiight)
-Part 1
-Part 2
^_^

And now since I started you out with a quote, I'll leave you with a quote:

"Bill you're such a guy"
     - Rachel

The worst thing ever is when you feel compelled to visit your own site 6 times a day to see if there's an update.

Oh yes, it only happens once in a great while during the schoolyear, but Frosti came over yesterday and spent the night. We had more fun than a monkey in a room full of bananas! We spent 3 hours adding on to my cardboard house, and we have pictures to show you how huge-ass it is. Since I'm way too lazy to make a new page for the cardboard house right now, I will present it to you here on the updates page.

The Cardboard House
(Yes, each link is a different picture. Lookit them!)
Okay, first of all, this thing is a beast. It's at least 3 times the size of the original house I had, and filled with pictures of hotties.

Approx. time spent building: 3.5 hours
Approx. time spent picture collecting: 5 hours
Approx. time spent hanging: 4 hours
Approx. yards of tape used: 55 yards
Approx. trees used: 1
Approx. sq. ft.: 25
Height (Fin): 6'1.5" (7'9.75")

The ceiling of this beautiful abode is made of a semi-transparent plastic which allows for a wonderful light show at night. Simply leave the TV on for an artificial aurora you're not likely to ever forget. Got a buddy you need to have sleep over? Not a problem! Two 5'8" people can comfortably sleep in this cardboard house. If the person who has his head in the front end of the house finds himself facing away from the television, have no fear because through the magic of majik, a backwards, upside-down projection of the TV shows up on the far wall, so one can comfortably watch a blurry TV show while falling asleep. Two versions are somehow projected onto the wall on the other end, so the same experience can be had by both people in the house. While this house lacks a bathroom, kitchen, and a decent entrance, it is still a fun place to chill and/or engage in sexual activities with cheerleaders (or tennis ch1x0r).

So anyway, Frosti had to leave early this morning, so I am making this update alone. I have to say, sleeping in the cardboard house last night was an interesting experience. It took a while to find a position in the house where both of us were comfy, and it ended up that my head was in the "kitchen" area (don't ask why I called it that... I've never even pretended it was a kitchen, but I guess it just fit) I was bent in two places, it was like I was sitting in a chair, only on my side (there wasn't enough room for me to curl up into the fetal position...) Mike got the spacious area at the front end of the house. I didn't fit there either, I dunno why. So, we fell asleep at 3:30, I don't know how I ever fell asleep in the position I was in; I guess God was being kind to me. So, at 5:30 I woke up and I had the worst cramp ever in my left leg, since I hadn't shifted off it in 2 hours (there wasn't enough room), and my arm was asleep. I decided it would be best if I just slept on the sofa. Oh yeah, Mike and I finished two new beats for our CD, and finished writing the Hero song. We should finish this CD sometime before next year. Maybe.

HAREM NO JUTSU!!! (that one's for you Vash)

I'm out~BA

(also, I finally got rid of those dildo-like headers in the crapbar and replaced them with a better header)

FOTW was about to make a glorious comeback a few weeks ago, but no. Here are my unofficial flavors of the week.

Group of the week: Mindless Self Indulgence
Bitches love me cuz they know that I can rock, bitches love me cuz they know that I can ride, bitches love me cuz they know that I can fuck.
Anime of the week: Photon
Everyone knows n3kk1d 4n1-ch1x0r rawk.
Word of the week: Thrash
Um, it's my word, so you can't use it, but I thought I would share it's splendor with you all.
Movie of the week: That one with Jet Li and DMX
Jet Li owns your life. Watch out or he'll give you the Kiss of the Dragon!

oh yes that are the flavors of the wek. I speel you sum werdz wrung liek Frosti dose, so its liek he tiped it.

~BA

Who else got up to a 2 hour delay, then found out from your dad 30 minutes later that schools are closed, then air guitared violently for 25 seconds?

KWI is a funny site (or, it used to be), so why shouldn't it get referred to by funny google searches? Here are a few of the good ones:

-I gave your kid aids so you could watch him die #1
-DOA3 swimming girl with bikini #7
-Penisboy #4
-Mrs. Weber Naked #8
-meaning of hizzle nizzle #7
-pimp pc #5


Senpai: hmm
Senpai: people get to KWI a lot when searching for porn it seems.

Oh yes indeed...

I feel that I should appologize for my lack of updates. I am currently in a creative rut, and have been for several months now... I dunno when I will get out of it, but I hope it's soon. I need summer to get here... quickly. So, since I have nothing funny to talk about, you can probably stop reading right here, if you haven't already. (that's kind of weird... if you have already stopped reading, then you would never have known I said that, thereby making the "if you haven't already" a worthless statement...)

So, tonight, or rather last night, I got my order from Amazon.com. Woo hoo! I can now learn Japanese, and I got the last volume of Akira, which I have waited over a year to get. This is definitely not the Shoujo manga I was talking about earlier in the summer, no sir... This is definitely Shonen, or not even, it's definitely for older kiddos. I think that Akira is definitely the best manga I have ever read, and possibly the best ever drawn.

I also received Domu, a particularly graphic manga about... well I'm not sure what it's about. It's just gratuitous violence I guess. It's interesting none-the-less because it's one of Otomo Katsuhiro's earlier works.

Japanese... who could live without it? No one, of course. I most certainly need to learn the language as soon as possible, so I am about to embark on a long voyage into the world of learning a language and liking it. I really hate German, and I will do anything I can next year to avoid taking it. (What what dual enrollment at the college?!)

It's definitely 1:00 and I need to not be typing so much.
G'night ~BA

Have a very kwi 16th birthday Frosti.
~BA

I just opened a hersey kiss and there was no little strip-of-paper thingy in it. The realization:

Big BA: HOLY FRICK
Yacin: finally it started
Yacin: what?
Big BA: there was no thingy in this hersey kiss
Big BA: no little strip of paper
Yacin: holy shit!

No, it's not Command & Conquer, it's Cheese & Crackers, my and Frosti's newly formed group, which will be putting out a CD whenever the hell we get our act together. The material is written, we have the means to make CDs, we have the utilities to record really crappy wav files, we may even have beats (pending me getting my ass in gear)! I seriously must say, though, that these rhymes are the best ones out there, almost as good as most korean rap, only you'll be able to understand us. So the name of the album is "We Got The World On Her Knees, Ready To Please." Ummm... so yeah when we actually start production of it we'll let you all know.

Glad to see you're back with the flavors, Frosti. Happy snowday, everyone.
~BA (updated the Revenue page... $h!+ we only have 1 dollar.)

Guess Who's Back?!!!!!

These are the sacred choices of Frosti, you will honor them and trust in his judgement.

Dangnabitt of the week: having your computer breakdown and having to send it in only to find out that the new hard drive that they just put in has had a malfunction and no data can be retrieved. Sorry guys the new 4M3R1K3N video "Pride" will have to be re-made from scratch, all original footage soft and hard copies have been lost.
Techno DJ's of the week: Blank and Jones, ATC, and Cosmic Gate
So you can go explore around the world with a touch of class in the blue sky to sum groovy beats.
Fixation of the week: Breasts
According to Senpai (every other IM he sent BA can prove it) breasts, and everything about them, were a force to be reconed with this week. Who am I kidding they are the fixation of the millenium. I mean when have they not been?

Dude I'm so back in buisiness!

That's right folks! You get a ::FREE NINJA SCANNING CAMERA MOUNT:: when you click on this ad! Not just ANY scanning mount, no! A NINJA scanning mount!!! Never again will you settle for a samurai scanning mount, or even daimyo or shogun SCANNING ACTION!! GET the new NINJA scanning camera mount before supplies run out.

Rock!
~BA

"Yeah, I have A.D.D. HARDCORE!" - Alexandria R.

That is the funniest thing ever. Sylvia Plath has some funny and demented poems. Go read the book The Bell Jar and you'll understand some of them better.
Lesbos
Daddy
Insomniac

Oh my... SO sad ^_^

I often say that things have digressed, and really, no matter what it is that I am commenting on, it's nothing compared to this piece of literary cunning that I received in an IM:

"You have been humped by the froggy, which means you are one sexy bitch! You will have good sex for 2 years if you send this to anywhere from 6 to 9 people. If this is sent back to you , then you know that you are truly one sexy bitch... You must send it in 5 minutes or your good humping will be broken"

Amerika, I salute you.

In keeping with my last effort to expand the KWI demographic to include Windows mp3 junkies, I am creating a Winamp3 skin. This one will take a little more effort than the original Winamp 2.x skin because of the new innovations that Nullsoft has come up with, but hopefully I'll have it done in a week or two, school permitting.

While poking around Winamp3 with a reshacker I found this:
Oh, you want to know "About Winamp" huh? Well, let me tell you "About Winamp":
Winamp ****ing rules. Winamp kicks your AND your mother's ass. Winamp had your dog this morning as well, and it was all good.

Winamp is the leading cause of spontaneous monkey-butt-****ing in America today.

It's THAT good.

Big BA: lol take it down if you don't liek it

---

Senpai you are a dork. Here's another convo.

---

Big BA you are a fruit. Nothing here.

Big BA: oh my crap javascript is so outdated but I don't want to take the time to learn CGI
Senpai: i don't want to take the time to learn C++
Senpai: or PHP
Senpai: but I should
Big BA: don't you think it would be bad-ass to learn a bunch of languages?
Senpai: oui oui
Big BA: you'd be a god to the layman...
Big BA:

LM: can you design me a site?
you: Sure thing, i'll whip out the PHP3 and the HTML and thew JAVA and ALL THE FIXINS!
LM: *faints*
you: *whips out the smelling salts you coded last night*

Big BA: Senpai, I have changed my mind about editing
Big BA: we're going to edit out swearing
Senpai: ****ing completely?
Big BA: just the root
Big BA: like that
Big BA: a couple people have told me they visit the site less because they don't approve of our language
Big BA: my*
Senpai: heh
Big BA: I'm not going to bother to back edit
Big BA: just from now on

Senpai: When I Look Down My Pants, I'm a [Male / Female]
Big BA: depends on if it's cold
Senpai: o_O

Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day (Observed).

I would have liked to leave my exam spiel on top, but this was funny and it's not the 16th anymore. Please wear some plastic undies when you read this because I don't want you to wet your chair.
LFJ: im getting a new one for gasoline any way
LFJ: hahaha
LFJ: im mean xmas omg
LFJ: lol i was watching tv
LFJ: hahaha and typing

Well, the time has come, as it does semi-annually, for exams. Yes those pesky little recaps on some worthless tidbits of data that have been massaged into the students' brains at school. If you are as lucky as I have been, your schedule has been molested and turned in to a veritable feast of incomprehensible crap. Half day when? I get to skip that day what? I started my exams today, and lucky me, I get to continue them until next friday, which I believe will be the final day of the appocalypse. Monday of course, after the 27 minute classes are over, will be Rapture. My exam in World History will be the first of the four horsemen. Assuming I would be excluded from Rapture, this First Horseman will conquer me and leave me burned out and empty inside. Lo, on the second day I will see Mr. Lalonde and he will say unto me "come and see" and I will come to see the trig functions and I will not understand them. Later on that second day I will see a third one, a beast, and she will say "lo, come forth and behold." And I will behold verb conjugation, and I will not understand it. On the third day I will be reconciled with rest, but on the fifth day there will come forward another beast, the fourth, one of inconceivable magnitude. She will say "lo, here is your Honors Chem exam." and I will behold it and see that sig digs are truly the root of all evil. Irreparable damage will be inflicted on my body and mind. And that exam will be followed by death and Hell, eternal damnation.

Yes my friends, that is the epitome of highschool examinations. Um also, I added a better, more aesthetically pleasing b/i to the crapbar. Check it out.

You better hope your kid's RSACi and ICRA content advisory systems are activated...
Lauren: i once told this kid "im fucking tired" and he goes "can you really be fucking tired?' and i go "yeah when your tired and your fucking; your fucking tired"
BA: hm
Lauren: then a lil kid got hit by a bike

And everybody say: Yatta!

--Note from BA: Yatta is an expression of celebration used in japanese that really has no equivolent in english. (Transl. in the flash anim as "Irrational Exuberance." That's a good way of putting it.)

Big BA: ahhhhh news ladies can be so hot!
Guest: lol what?!
Big BA: the Headline news lady is HOTTTTTT!
Guest: oh you freak
Big BA: hahaha
Big BA: sorry, it had to be said
Guest: ummm, okay!
Guest: so, *EDITED*?
Guest: O:-)
Big BA: channel 98, now!
Big BA: lol
Guest: billiam! C'MON!
Big BA: c'mon!
Big BA: go check out the chick
Guest: umm, lol no
Guest: why?!
Big BA: haha
Guest: lol
Guest: hahahahahahaahahah!
Guest: lol thats hilarious
Big BA: what?
Guest: i saw the girl and it made me chuckle
Guest: well acutally it made me do this:
Guest: Guest: hahahahahahaahahah!
Guest: lol thats hilarious
Guest: but either way!
Big BA: lol she's hot!!
Big BA: come on tell me she's not really pretty
Guest: oh you're a dork!!
Guest: is cola talking to you???
Guest: shes alright
Big BA: nope
Guest: she kinda looks like a mouse
Guest: bwahahahahahah
Big BA: she has the hottest eyes ever!!
Big BA: lol
Big BA: a mouse?!
Big BA: yeah
Big BA: I guess
Guest: lol yeah sure, her eyes are nice!
Guest: lol!
Big BA: I still think she's hot
Big BA: I would date a mouse if mice looked like her.

Here's something funny I stole from some girl's profile:
SomeGuy: well if were both in deep shit, there needs to be only one question asked
SomeGuy: are we naked?

Something I did not steal:
Ashirii-chan: you know, i really wanted to finish my chicken
Ashirii-chan: but i made such a dramatic exit i really cant
Ashirii-chan: at least i didnt have to eat my green beans

---

For those who did not get Senpai's extremely well thought out and hilarious pun...

Gelded
tr.v. geldÖed, or gelt (glt) geldÖing, gelds
1. To castrate (a horse, for example).
2. To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken.

Gilded
tr.v. gildÖed, or gilt (glt) gildÖing, gilds
1. To cover with or as if with a thin layer of gold.
2. To give an often deceptively attractive or improved appearance to.
3. Archaic. To smear with blood.

Thank you. Good night.

Note: There will be no flavors until Frosti decides to start doing them again. This may be a while. Also, Frosti's mac is in the shop because it's bus'. Too bad for him.

... for the complete lack of updates. I'm swamped with sports and homework, Bill's swamped with homework and ... Jenni, Mike never does the FotW anyways, and all Yacin updates about is how he's gelded. Er, I mean gilded.

We will return.

Sometimes your tongue turns black after you take pepto-bismol chewing tablets. That's crazy.
~BA

Ninja's Are Cool

VashTheOriginalNinja: weeeheee!
NinjaChica: wow you are happy today! how do you manage?
NinjaChica: i am in awe
VashTheOriginalNinja: lack of sufficient amount of sleep and hanging out with friends is badass
VashTheOriginalNinja: especially when you BREAKDANCE AT 6 AM IN 18 DEGREE WEATHER!!!!!
VashTheOriginalNinja: YEAH!
NinjaChica: how refreshing
VashTheOriginalNinja: yeah
VashTheOriginalNinja: also too much whipping cream from a can can make you throw up
VashTheOriginalNinja: hahaha can can im sooo funny
NinjaChica: i have chocolate sauce in my bag, if you want some
VashTheOriginalNinja: that would be sweet
NinjaChica: i just remembered that we had a fight with it
NinjaChica: or, i poured it all over my friends face
VashTheOriginalNinja: cool
NinjaChica: and i found some in my hair just now
NinjaChica: i hate finding sticky things in my hair it happens too often
VashTheOriginalNinja: i had ketchup and grape jelly in my hair earlier
NinjaChica: aw, poor baby, thats got to smell funky
NinjaChica: also, your hair is very puffy
VashTheOriginalNinja: Original Message Edited*yOU Can't read this cuz you aren't cool!*
VashTheOriginalNinja: IN BLOOOD!!!!!
NinjaChica: word
VashTheOriginalNinja: yeah
NinjaChica: ugh i cant believe someone actually told me that they wanted to be a ninja and a pirate. it made me sick to my stomach
VashTheOriginalNinja: man ninjas kill pirates because they can!
NinjaChica: this is so true
NinjaChica: ninjas rule all and there is no way pirates can even measure up
VashTheOriginalNinja: thats why they can fly
VashTheOriginalNinja: im gonna put you on the site cuz you think ninjas rule
NinjaChica: wow, really? i feel honored
NinjaChica: but ninjas truly do rule. and i am a ninja
VashTheOriginalNinja: yea ninjas are sweet

I'm updating cuz I can YEAH! Oh news flash Akane is now mine so I'm in the lead cuz of my gold gilded penis. I am sooo cool it hurts my brain.

A little note from BA...
I appologize in advance for any emotional distress this update may cause. Please, if you'd like to remain pure in any fashion, do not read it.

---

Lonely: i'm so upset!!
Big BA & Co: why my dear?
Big BA & Co: did you not get any action for new years?
Big BA & Co: you were supposed to watch MTV if that was the case!!
Lonely: bc penisboy and i were *edited* alone *edited*!!!
Lonely: and i could have and i really wanted to and it was probly my best chance ever
Lonely: and we h*edited*t all nite *edited*
Big BA & Co: aww that sucks!!
Big BA & Co: I was making moves on mike and yacin all night and it ended up me killing yacin and mike... well he has no shirt anymore.
Lonely: *edited*
Lonely: lol
Big BA & Co: gooo effUU!
Big BA & Co: that was yacin, btw
Big BA & Co: we are all very sorry to hear you didn't get any from penisboy... but if you came over here we'd all make love to you.
Big BA & Co: at once in all six vaginas
Lonely: haha, i know thats yacin
Big BA & Co: i smell like fucking ketchup
Lonely: thanks guys, i appreciate it
Lonely: but im already in my pajamas and all
Lonely: shoot, yacin, dont tell anyone!!
Lonely: i thought this was a safe confession to an east person, lol
Big BA & Co: that doesn't cover your knee
Big BA & Co: or your elbow
Big BA & Co: or your NOSE!!
Lonely: right, this is a confusing conversation
Lonely: but i have a question that must be answered by a guy
Lonely: ready?
Big BA & Co: okay
Big BA & Co: we have our penises out
Big BA & Co: jesus bill its huge
Lonely: haha, well i know thats what you think with
Lonely: but anyways
Big BA & Co: stop TOUCHING IT YACIN!
Big BA & Co: you know you like IT
Big BA & Co: what the hell mike, why is yours curved like that?!
Big BA & Co: you could touch your own ass with that thing
Lonely: if we were *edited* and had been f*edited*ing and s*edited*ting *edited*?
Big BA & Co: no the soccer moms glass popped it stupid
Lonely: even if we were joking, its still part serious right?
Big BA & Co: yes.
Lonely: STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR PENISES!!
Big BA & Co: the part about me having a huge penis, anyway
Lonely: is the yes the answer to my question?
Lonely: answer!!!
Lonely: i understand your penis is huge, thats very nice
Big BA & Co: the plural of penis is penes.
Lonely: but still, i want to know
Lonely: hey, be quiet!!
Big BA & Co: yes it's a good sign
Lonely: it is ok
Big BA & Co: I would have fucking jumped you if you *edited*ed me
Big BA & Co: especially in a dark alley
Lonely: lol, its not like i *edited*ed his *edited*
Big BA & Co: at 2 AM
Big BA & Co: well no
Big BA & Co: I mean like... my tit.
Big BA & Co: i will mount you like a horse
Lonely: and we *edited* l*edited* and we were s*edited*ting on a tramp*edited*
Lonely: ok you guys sound pretty *edited* to me
Lonely: had too much *edited*
Big BA & Co: lol... too bad we're *edited*..
Lonely: im gonna g2bed now
Big BA & Co: plans are for fools!
Lonely: haha, ok then youre just desperate
Lonely: ok
Lonely: gnite
Lonely: happy new years!!
Big BA & Co: TEACHER BANZAI~
Big BA & Co: !
Big BA & Co: you too
Lonely signed off at 3:12:56 AM.


Something funny that ocurred less than 5 minutes ago.
Bill: Yacin can you give me some hot chicks screennames for my buddylist?
Yacin: Uhmm I can't think of any off the top of my head.
Bill: What's Jenica's?
Yacin: Uh I dunno I don't think she knows how to use a computer.
Bill: I talked to her when she was at kim's house
Mike: Maybe she was dictating?
Bill: Jenica is hot!
Mike: But she's like this tall!
Bill: *nods, knowingly* She bit my nipple like every 5 minutes when we were hanging out
Mike: She's an odd bird.
Bill: She kinda looks like John.
Yacin: The scary thing is, she does.
Mike: Are you saying John's hot?
Yacin: No, but if John was a chick he'd be hot... Because he'd look like Jenica!

We've got so much stuff, we rock.
And things man, yeah, uh...

THE REALLY OFFICIAL FLAVORS OF THE YEAR!!! OBEY US AND DOWNLOAD THESE OR WE WILL EXCOMMUNICATE YOU STUPID BITCH!

Stench of the YEAR: 3 parts Ketchup 1 part grape jelly.
Guaranteed one of the worst things you'll EVER DFKCUNING SMELL IN YOUR LIFETIME OL'FACTORY GLANDULAR DISORDER!
Thing to do of the YEAR!: US.
You know you want to.
Thing to do of the YEAR (besides us): BREAK-UNGHj-DANCE in 18 degree weather when there's a -11 degree windchill. In your PJs.
You know we want to see the well endowed girls out there in there PJs pulling flares (EFFFFUUUUU!)
Best new JAPANESE swearword of the YEAR!!!!!!!!: unughdjfdskuso.
It means shit, fuck, damn, hell, crap, what, let's go, and sometimes y.
WEBSITE OF THE YEAR (besides ours): RealULTIMATEPower.net
NINJAS STILL ROCK
Shittiest Band of the YEAR: ANAL CUNT!
I GAVE YOUR KID AIDS SO YOU COULD WATCH HIM DIE!!!!!!!!
DEATH OF THE YEAR: YOUR KID.
Greatest Teacher of the YEAR: GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA!
TEACHER BONZAI!!!
Movie of the YEAR (besides ours): Still LOTR.
You know it's true.
Coolest noise of the YEAR: Yacin's noise when fdalsdnkuso imitating ANAL CUNT
Confetti color of the YEAR: MAUVE
Yeah, the 70's/80's rocked.
Underground rapper of the YEAR: MC Chris.
His best followers are Frosti and BA. And Yacin.
Place to sit of the YEAR: This chair.
Because 3 people are sitting on it. Uncomfortably, I might add.
THE BEST IHFIDJFKUSO of the YEAR: KIDS WITH ISSUES
YOU KNOW IT'S THE TRUEST THING EVER!

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM.
FROSTI, VASH, AND BA HERE.
NO WE DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT.
NOT A WINK.
WE ATE WHIP CREAM AND ALMOST PUKED.
OH NO...
WHIPPING CREAM RULES.
OH I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE.
FJDSLHBALLAHHHHH.
jsdlfkjlkdsfjkuso!

New Years Stinks. ~The Whole KWI Qroo.

What we did for fun instead of celebrating (in order of length):
1) Watched Great Teacher Onizuka
2) Downloaded p0rn and h3nt41 and drew p3n35 on them.
3) Scratched/Adjusted ourselves.
4) Watched my system crash as we closed every process that was running.
5) Breakdanced in the cold.

MEGABUCKS.

Rachel: my head hurts
Big BA: aww, you poor thing!! Take a tylenol
Rachel: dont want ot go upstairs and get one!
Big BA: lol
Big BA: oh man
Big BA: when you have a heart attack and you need a bayer, are you going to be like "OH MY CRAP I AM TOO LAZY TO GO UPSTAIRS AND GET THE BAYER! *UGH*"
Big BA: *THUMP*
Rachel: .....everybodys gotta die soemtime! :-)

~BA

Oh that Senpai, what a character...
Senpai: are you using trillian mcmillian?
Senpai: no because you're a pussy
Senpai: er, i mean creature of habit.

Yes I was scraping the bottom of the barrel to make this update.
~BA

---

Says Senpai: Speaking of scraping...
Senpai: did you know charter serves you newsgroups?
Big BA: no

---

Senpai: use the newsgroup server news.chartermi.net
Big BA: okay
Big BA: yay porno porno porno

馬鹿!!

Yes indeed I, Big BA, have recieved a camcorder for Christmas! WOO! Rock on, it's a Sony TRV-240, and the local KWI basher, Stephen, has told me what he thinks...

KWI_Basher: you get anytinng good yet?
Big BA: yup I got a camcorder
Big BA: I had to pay a little for it... but still it's awesome
KWI_Basher: oooohh
KWI_Basher: Sony?
Big BA: TRV240
KWI_Basher: Digital-8?
Big BA: yeah
Big BA: *anticipates evil laugh*
KWI_Basher: that's oo bad
Big BA: *or sorrow, same difference*
KWI_Basher: hah
KWI_Basher: didn't you already have a Digital-8 camcorder
KWI_Basher: like a TRV 140 or simthg
Big BA: no
KWI_Basher: hmm
Big BA: mike has a 140
KWI_Basher: oh
KWI_Basher: ok
Big BA: yeah
KWI_Basher: you and you foolish DIgital-8 people
Big BA: :-P
Big BA: kwi is a digital 8 group!
KWI_Basher: HAHA
Big BA: we all have to be compatable you know!
KWI_Basher: and not a single DVD-recodable amoung you too
KWI_Basher: funny
Big BA: heh
Big BA: yeah

Wow, I wish he could type. ^_^ I am so excited, I don't even know what to tape!! Merry Christmas everyone, and rock on Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, Daoists, Hindus, and people who follow other religions that might only celebrate Christmas to receive gifts.

Thank you Frosti for the excellent manga, and thanks Chelsea for the shirt, it rocks ^_^.

Okay, so I was thinking about doing the FOTW Sunday night at midnight, but I fell asleep. So here they are, the Christmas Edition of the Flavors.

Wrapping Paper of the Week: The paper with the little winter scene and reindeer and santa in the background.
It's pimpola, like the dude who sells you.
Gift of the Week: Zip Zaps Micro RC Racers (only from RadioShack).
These little cars are like El Diablo, only 50x times smaller!
DVD of the Week: (Anime) Cowboy Bebop [The Perfect Sessions]
$56.00 On Amazon.com (I think). Cowboy Bebop is the darkest, most thrilling, most entertaining anime out there. If you haven't seen it, buy this and experience all 26 episodes. You won't regret it. Oh, and if you don't watch it in Japanese w/ english subtitles, I'll come smack you up.
Movie of the Week: The Lord Of The Rings: Two Towers
Ummm, I don't even need to give you an explanation, you know. You know...

There you go. Love me, love me well. I might love you well, too.
I'm out for tonight ~BA

Heh...
KWI_Viewer: that stephen kid is odd...

Okay so maybe it's more of a 'coincidence' to KWI than it is so much a 'tribute' to KWI. A Sluggy Freelance comic with the word "KWI" in it!

Rock on, I hope everyone enjoyed their ice-day!
~BA

Okay how often does this happen? Never what?! I got off my lazy ass and made a new section. It's under the BA's Corner section to the left, and it's called "Comical Raps". Um, I'll let you guess what's in it.

These are the semi-unofficial FOTW for the week of December 16, respect me and obtain (at least one of) these legitimately.

Group of the week: Thrice
Mmmm punk rock never tasted so good.
Site of the week: RealUltimatePower
NINJAS ROCK! Man if you want to learn how to FLIP OUT like a ninja then go there!
Thing to be of the week: A NINJA!!!
AHHHHH! IF YOU'RE A NINJA ALL YOU DO IS FLIP OUT AND KILL PEOPLE AND WHEN YOU AREN'T DOING THAT YOU GET TO FLY AROUND AND WAIL ON A GUITAR!!! ROCK ON! PIRATES SUCK!

That's all for now I can't think of another caategory so you only get 3 this week I tihnk I will make long sentences like Frosti so you feel lkike he is actually making this update and maby I'll conjugate a verb incorrect once in a wile.

~BA

Hum hum hum it's Saturday morning and once again I am procrastinating. Not that I have a lot of homework but I don't want to do the stuff I have. Um, so I thought I'd give all you who care a little update on my Bisukito-chan! She's doing a lot better now, her leg seems to be healing up fine from the surgery, there is a tiny scar (only because she wouldn't stop re-opening the wound... stupid dog), but nothing else. She still can't really go up stairs, but we're working on that! ^_^ I got my hair cut finally, so that means I have less hair than at 8:15 when I work up this morning. I had a dream last night about updating the KWI site with pictures, but I don't recall what pictures they were. I'm sorry about not getting my shit together in the galleries. I will decide soon which pictures need to be there and which ones don't, then I will move them over to the TWM server. I was reluctant to do that before because there are about 10 megs of them and that's half of our space right there, so yeah. There'll be fewer pictures but the good ones will still be there. Um I suppose no one else cares about the FOTW like I do, but you know it's nice to have something constant on KWI. I guess I will do them for the time being, since Frosti has wrestling and he's too busy doing that, chores and homework to do the flavors. Now all I have to do is remember... ^_^

Okay so it's a little late in the week but here we go...
These are the semi-unofficial FOTW, respect me and obtain (at least one of) these legitimately.

Thing not to do of the week: Seppuku
It may be a bad-ass name for something really cool, but not neccessarily something one should do unless you happen to have failed highschool, killed your neighbor, and/or shot your penis off.
Thing not to be of the week: Kaisahku-nin
Counterpart to the person committing seppuku, a Kaisahu-nin's job is to finish off the seppuku-committing individual as quickly as possible after they disembowel themself. Not too much fun unless you're into chopping people's heads off with a katana. *cough*everyonewhoplaysViceCity*cough*
Song of the week: Do Your Feet Hurt by MXPX
Mmmm, it's suck your girlfriend's toes in the hot tub good!!
Movie of the week: K-PAX
Senpai mentioned to me that it was a good movie with an awesome soundtrack and I believe him. I don't know why but I do. So I am going to downl--obtain a legal copy of it soon. ^_~

Okay that's all guys. Later days ~BA

Update: I fixed comics 13 and 23. 13 was really shitty from JPEG compression (it's a PNG now so everything is cool.) 23 had... ummm... some coloring problems. Nothing major, they just caught my meticulous eye, unlike the many spelling errors I make every time I update. I changed the NavBar as well, Senpai. (Yes I downloaded everything from the site for my mirror).

Big BA: the joke is dead
Senpai: oh, no f***ing kidding

Tomorrow during ILA, everyone go here http://www.geocities.com/hw_place/chat.html so we can chat without making noise.

Okay so Rachel was like "holy f***ing s**t Bill, you lazy b*****d of a mother f***er, make a f***ing christmas buddy f***ing icon so we can use it!" and I was like, "good idea, my dear Rachel." so I made one. It's right under the other one in the bar on the right (>>). ^_^
~BA

Update:
Okay, Senpai, that sexy stud of a CGI coder, made the purchase page FINALLY work so you can order videos. Claire, I'm sorry but you're going to have to order yours again (since the order didn't get sent last time).
Okay, BA, that sexy stud of a crappy graphics man, made a new scaleable header for the comics and purchase page. The graphics will hopefully be changed soon so they look nicer ^_^.

I'm so proud of my little KWI... We've come so far in only a year.
MICHAEL DO THE DAMN FOTW! YOU SLACKER!

Hey thanks everyone for not coming to the plays. You all suck. And yet I still bring you funny. You all suck. (Thanks for coming Chelsea)

KWI_Hater: 39,726
Big BA: words in your brain what?
KWI_Hater: do you just love doing that?
KWI_Hater: giving numbers to poele
KWI_Hater: and they ahev no idea what they are
Big BA: ummm can't say I've ever tried it
KWI_Hater: heh
Big BA: 69
KWI_Hater: no
KWI_Hater: not funny

~BA

So yeah I'm procrastinating, right? This essay that I have to write is going to kick mrs weber's nuts. It will rock them, too. I've been working for 4 hours so far. I am so cool. I have many many paragraph fragments. Isn't that awesome? I will put them together sometime. Life will rock then.


Big BA: hey
Colene: go write your essay!
Big BA: are you a good christian girl? do you know your bible inside and out?
Colene: i know the first few chapters
Colene: are you a good christian boy?
Big BA: darn, not good enough
Big BA: no
Colene: lol ic
Big BA: I know the first chapter in genesis
Colene: lol i know that it explains the world becoming and junk

...And his mother f*ckin' court! Come see Me, Blake O'Brien, Zach Smith, Zack Benedict, and Alden Schaub tear it up in The Lost Half Hour tomorrow (Friday, December 6) and Saturday the 7th at 8:30pm (ish) at the Central High School auditorium. We promise you'll laugh at least three times or we'll punch you in the face after the show. Yes, granted you'll have to sit through a slightly less entertaining show first, but it's only like 25 minutes and you'll like that one too. *Ribbet* *Ribbet*
Craig and Aaron you guys rock my nuts, you're so hilarious.

I'm fricken out ~BA
(I didn't take my medicine today)

"Everything you do makes me laugh... I just laugh because I know you didn't take your pill today, it's just so hilarious."

These are almost the official flavors of the week, so you will semi-respect my choices and kind of check a couple of them out.

Group of the Week: Sugarcult
They are kick-in-the-balls savory!
Movie Not To See of the Week: The new Bond flick
The sexual innuendos, while a good thing when you are actually talking to another girl, get old really quick in this movie. Also, R becomes Q which f***ing pisses me off, Q's letter should be set aside in rememberance of him. Um, oh yeah Bond's "witty" remarks are gay.
Anime of the Week: Great Teacher Onizuka
You'll have trouble finding it on Kazaa... But if you like funny-ass anime with hot school girls (yeah it's sad I call them hot) then this is the fricken rock your socks off anime!
Gay-ass Book of the Week: Grapes Of Wrath
Don't ever read this book. This stupid book. This monster of a stupid book. Or it will rape you. And the men sat on their hams and thought about the book raping them.

I'm out ~BA

-- Says Senpai: Just a reminder, kids. We do not condone nor suggest downloading, stealing, swapping, or otherwise illegitimately acquiring music, video, or other media online. Big BA is speaking figuratively. Don't steal music.
Please also remember that the views expressed by independent KWI members are not necessarily condoned or recommended by KWI, and that TWM is in no way responsible for or affiliated with KWI and the views and content displayed therein. Please don't shut us down, Interland.
I'm out. ~Senpai

4m3r1k4
UPDATE 12/04/02:
A PNG version of the World According to Amerika. (Thanks Senpai). ~BA

Who cares about seeing rocks naked? No one. How bout frosti and BA naked running in the snow? Yeah everyone cares about that. Too bad we couldn't get senpai in on it. He has issues with being naked. We kept telling him that everyone wanted to see him naked, but like Natalie Portman he just refuses to strip down. Well, I'm out. ~BA

Okay, after seeing this I think I need to tell you all something. Yes we do have videos. Yes you can buy them. Senpai needs to fix the order form if he hasn't yet. Order our videos. Look through the menu to the left and find the damn purchase page. You will enjoy the videos. BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY! Give us your money. We want your money. We love your money. ~BA

This is like on MTV where the fans interrupt the music video to say something... only not really and she didn't shout WOOOO at the end.

Hello dearest KWI fans! It is I! The Notorious BELLA!!!!! I have come to....to.....well I've come to eat your cheese and steal your crackers. :-) Hmm....guess what? I'm over at the master of the house (Billy) and we watched some KWI movies! Isn't that great?! Yea it is, if you said no. Umm..HI MOM!!! Bill's house is messy...very messy indeed! (of course so is bill..)
Mike--wow I never knew you were such a GREAT actor, no joke! You are sooooooo good! Umm...Miles....Zimbabwe! That was just great. Mmm...It's like 11pm, and I'm STILL wondering why its so hard for such cute guys to really catch on when a girl likes him! That's a totally different story... but ANYWHO--Just thought I'd say hey, and that..umm....Christmas is coming!!! And..that The Who is a great band, and so is Tenacious D. Oh and...the sky is blue :-) Have a great night!!! Gute Nacht, Buenos Noche, and GOOD NIGHT!!! Chelsea*

Heya, kiddos. I just edited down a three and a half minute Music Video Trailer for Triple F, and let me tell you, it is a veritable feast of Frosti. That's right - 90% of this trailer involves nothing more than Frosti running around and doing insane stunts to a sweet Crystal Method/Fatboy Slim remix of Magic Carpet Ride. However, I'm having a hard time cutting the movie file size down to less than 15MB without sacrificing too much quality. If you want to be one of the priviledged elite that gets to view the trailer, you can either request a CD with it on it for the low burning price of $1, or wait for me to give in and upload a 10MB, crummy low quality file.

~Senpai

Howmanyhappiesisthatinarow?three?wowthat'salot. welleveryoneihopeyouhaveawonderfulturkeyday! Imyselfwillbeenjoyingmyturkey^_^. ~BAoutyo.

---

A Thanksgiving feast of laughter for you all:

Big BA: and I couldn't read it all at once
Big BA: I would get incredbly hard
The Eni Babe: true
Big BA: bored*
Big BA: lol
The Eni Babe: i bet it would be boring
Big BA: wooooooooo! Freudian slip!

Happy birthday Colene! You rock! ^_^ It's so close to the KWI anni, it's scary! Hey I'm at school right now so I gotta jet. Mike is the sexiest reporter ever, next to Rachel, who is just the hottest thing alive.

Get better Miles!!!!!

Happy anniversiary KWI. It's been a year since the site opened. Sorry we don't have some big hooplah to give the crowd. I'm tired.

I was totally kicking major ass in Warcraft and then these level 12 dudes come up and totally waste all over me and at the end they are like, "What's wrong with you? Making hippogryph riders against two undead?" and i thought that would be a great strategy assuming they would go for mass ghoul/dreadlord w/ sleep combo but the hit me with necros and crypt fiends and totally handed me my ass on a silve plate. Boy do i have some learnin' to do.

--Vash

These are the sacred choices of Frosti, you will honor them and trust in his judgement.

Album of the week: "The Last Temptation" by Ja Rule
Whaat the hell else am I gonna talk about? Nothing else came out this week. But one of the songs "Emerica" is on the new 4M3R1K3N video "Pride" due to be out in about 2-never weeks because some members are too lazy to get any shots in, *cough* Buckshot, Vash, Fro Joe get me sum footage!





*cough*
Shitty Powerbar of the week: Lemon Crisp
It's like eating lemony flavored $h!t, that really old, and crispy.
Movie of the week: "State and Main"
It's a hilarious movie about making a movie, in a town, and they ran out of money, and it's really deep, ya know...

BA: That's right folks it's time for that little game we like to call "Funny or Not Funny". Now, uh, someone will be standing behind that curtain over there (points backstage) doing, eh, or saying something and Senpai and I will decide whether it's funny or not funny. This is truly a favorite, uhm, among all viewers. We get fan-mail about it every day telling us how much people love it.
BA: Uh, okay Senpai, are you ready?
Senpai: Yeah, BA, I think so, let'er rip.
BA: Okay, if you'd please open the curtain!
(curtain opens to reveal nothing)
BA: Ah, whoa.
Senpai: Hizzle shizzle on my nizzle.
(curtain closes)
BA: I'd definitely say that was... Funny.
Senpai: You know BA I'd have to disagree with you and go with not funny.
BA: I was just testing you. Yes that was definitely not funny. THANK YOU G'NIGHT!

---

A little report... From 10/1/02 to 11/25/02
Hey, this is just Senpai popping in to remind you guys that these results are for the entire TWM Empire, including TWM, KWI, and Tinkertunes -- not just KWI. Thank you.

Requests:
15% - Stephen the KWI basher
11% - Miles the ISP overlord
8% - Big BA the page stopper-loaderer
~33% of requests came from Charter IPs

...day of the week to visit KWI
Most popular: Wednesday
Least popular: Saturday

Peak Times
9PM is peak
3PM is lowest, with a slight rise @ 4PM and a big drop @ 5PM

Readouts for KWI:
pages: 18.1%
requests: 30.8%
bytes (bandwidth): 28.6%
What that means is there are a lot of images per page, since the byte% is larger than pages%

Most Common 404s
#reqs: file
-----: ----
   28: /kwi/*censored*/mathpollres.html
   11: /kwi/*censored*/styles.css
   11: /kwi/thumbs/gal1img1.jpg
   10: /*censored*/table.js
   10: /*censored*/styles.css
   13: /sumthin

Odd Referrals:
-One person found a KWI page through "triple x soundtrack download vin diesel" through google.de.
-One through "team parkour" through google.co.uk
-Very odd: Click this link and look at the fifth result ^_^

That's right, kiddies, a way for you to get your daily dose of funny without straining those carpals! Just point your browser to twmagic.com/kwi and laugh the day away!

~Senpai-san

There are good days, there are bad days, and then there are days that are hella funny.

Q: Why does the tennessee football team wear orange?
A: So they can play football on saturday, hunt on sunday, and pick up trash for the rest of the week.

Oh frick, there were some about the cheerleaders but I forgot them... oh well. Frosti, tell me what they were!

Oh and the best Freudian slip ever, courtesy of Mrs. Weber!
"... All of you have been extremely breast..."

Big BA: I have hot chocolate now
Big BA: which, btw, takes like 5 minutes to make because it's gay like that
Drone: omg yum!
Drone: lol i know
Big BA: and now I'm using the bible as a coaster... that has to be a sin
Drone: lol!
Drone: omg thats really funny

Thank you!! G'day TC!

These are the sacred choices of Frosti(certified expert), you will honor them and trust in his judgement.

Hungry of the week: Frosti
Mmmmmm...food. I wish I could eat it. But not for another day. There's rumbly in my tumbly and I think I my stomach just killed someone with it's roar.

Album of the week: "Power in Numbers" Jurassic 5
This came out a little while ago, and I got it a little while ago, actually just when it came out. It's still take-your-socks-off-and-put-them-back-on good. Not quite as good as ltheir last CD "Quality Control" but still tight.

Songs of the week: Those really long mixes of a bunch of really good songs that are really long and so you don't have to change the song it just keeps playin'.
'Nuff said.

Here's Senpai's Flavours of the Week, because Frosti didn't want to. Respect and eat them all.

Cereal: Cracklin' Oat Bran
If you don't know, you don't deserve to know.
Carbonated Beverage: Sprite
Caffeine-free and so delicious.
Cookie: Chocolate Chip
Just going with tradition on this one.

~Senpai

Big BA: hey d00d
Vash: hey whats up?
Big BA: guess what? I downloaded perfect blue and mononoke hime... and they were both IN ENGLISH! I'm so pissed
Vash: that sucks ass
Big BA: no kidding
Big BA: lol I'm so angry about it
Vash: sorry d00d
Big BA: it's just like... grrr!
Big BA: you know?
Vash: ya i know
Big BA: It's like buying an anime dvd and finding out theres only an english track
Big BA: minus the buying part
Big BA: more like stealing the DVD

Hey Frosti how bout doing those flavors, eh?

This is the last one, I swear. Why do they call it a slumber party if no one slumbers until 7:00am? Seriously... 5 of the girls fell asleep at midnight and the remaining 3 came out to (I guess) stare at me and be entertained. I guess even my three tough campers out here fell asleep at one point, though. Ungh, I fell asleep in my chair here (which was waaay too small to accomodate me) and started snoring (sorry, girls ^_^). Yes, today everyone is gone, the toilet paper is still sitting in my room, and I am bored out of my mind. I hope my sister has another slumber party next Friday.

It's 4:53pm. Only 1 slumberer remains. Emily. I really don't know how to spell her name so I just went with the default. I forget which one she is. I'm so tired. I feel like John Steinbeck. This update is a monster. A mechanical monster raping the soil. Methodically. Raping, like an update. Haha, Steinbeck you sick d00d, I love you. G'night, I sleep now.
~BA

Well, I think that I have survived the worst of it. There are now 8 girls in the living room here eating pancakes. I lost steam at 6:30 and went upstairs to sleep til 9:50. I'm tired. SHE'S LOOKING AT WHAT I'M TYPING! MAKE IT STOP!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

There are 3 survivors. They've been sticking it out since.... I don't even remember. Right now they're watching me type. *bum bum bummm* Yeah today I'm going to hang with Yacin, Andy, Frosti, and AJ for a while... ^o^ How cool will that be, having 0 energy... I will be the only one laughing at everything. I really hope none of the other guys got any sleep. Damn girls. Yes you. DAMN YOU! Don't punch me in that arm, I got my tetinus shot there yesterday and there's some slight muscle discomfort. Yeah serves you right. GO TO SLEEP! ARAGH I'M BEING ATTACKED!!!! SAVE ME!! FROOOOOOSTTTTIIII!!

I'm out for now ~BA

Oh, the horror that is...

Big BA: My house has been overtaken by 8th grade girls
Wynded: is that bad
Wynded: ?
Big BA: lol
Big BA: it is when they TP your room
Wynded: play a trick on them when they're asleep tonight
Big BA: lol
Wynded: like cover their faces with honey
Big BA: I picked up all the toilet paper and put it outside the room they were in and knocked on the door
Big BA: and ran away
Wynded: hehehe
Wynded: how sneaky
Big BA: it was very sneaky
Big BA: I was proud of myself for thinking of it
Wynded: how much tp was it?
Big BA: a shitload
Big BA: like 5 or 6 rolls
Big BA: or 8
Big BA: lol, I forget how many I counted
Big BA: but I had trouble carrying it downstairs
Big BA: in 1 load
Big BA: They are watching me.
Big BA: It scares me.
Big BA: They are standing and staring at me.
Big BA: just ouside of the room
Big BA: half naked.
Big BA: lol
Big BA: They are laughing hysterically!
Big BA: AHHH!

... a slumber party.

Heh, he's so hilarious...
During a math test last Wednesday, Mr. Lalonde walks up to Frosti and looks at his test, seeing something is obviously wrong, he asks, "Are you high??"

Yes, a short one-liner for the KWI crowd tonight!! *sigh* The wonderful world of funny--it's so great.
~Big BA
(Frosti, seriously dude, I seriously scare myself sometimes dude!)

These are the sacred choices of Frosti, you will respect them and download them all.

Movie of the week: "Run Lola Run"
Three words: Rock the nutX0r. This movie, although in German (it had subtitles), was kick ass. It was so twisted and disturbed it prompted me to want to make a movie. Plus there is a ton of flying-bags-of-money action that just ups the coolness factor x10. Warp ten Scotty engage!

Artist of the week: MC Chris
All of you guys prolly already know him I'm just re-enstating the fact. For a guy that lives in an airport he sure does sound like a girl.

Game of the week: Diablo
I'm also goin old school on the games, Diablo I is some serious demon @$$ whelpin fun. Not only do you get to destroy the buggers but you find great things along the way like samurai armor even though you are in the middle ages in Europe, what ever. It still is a culmonation of Blizzard entertainment. Actually Diablo II prolly is but I'm too poor to buy that cuz I just bought a Japanese watch! Hahahahahahaha!

---

Cool Member of the week: Frosti, for finally signing up for the KWI/TWM webboards. About time, too. ~Senpai.

http://www.traversewebmagic.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi?act=SF&f=5

See that link? That is how you get the the KWI message boards. Alternately, you can access them under the Other group in that nifty menu over there.

Let me spout some random statistics at you. After a long, long period of inactivity, three (3) people have (re-)signed up for the message boards. They are: Chelsea, Andrea, and Greg. Kudos to you.

Roughly twenty (20) new posts and topics have sprung up - all in the past two days.

Congratulations! As a reward, you loyal fans get... well... nothing. I just wanted to hype the webboards more.

However, to the all-but-2 KWI member that have not signed up, I have only two words:
Shame... shame.
~Senpai

Tetris. It's what you do. Or so claim the latest round of advertisements by Parents and Elephants for the New International Society. They've been hyping Tetris as a great, fun activity for kids and elephants. But there is a dark side, one that PENIS has been trying to cover up.

Believe it or not, Tetris releases endoplasmics into the brain that cause a sharp increase in neural functioning. This functioning, however, is only related to Tetris. That's right -- habitual players of Tetris often find their brains using up excess clock cycles by playing games of Tetris without the user's permission! Not only that, but the brain is actually a lousy Tetris player!

Here's an updated list of people that have been afflicted with the syndrome SeeingTetrisBlocksInMind:

• Senpai
• Big BA
• Hayden
• Dominic
• Stephen
• Lisa
• and many more...

Did I miss you? Go, tell us about it on the KWI message board! Scram!

I added a new comic, go check it out. It's based on an old update, hopefully you forgot the update and you'll think the comic is funny. Bye. ~BA

I just drank milk out of the jug... and no one knows.

Mad props go to Chelsea (BellaCanto) for being the first person to post on the KWI message boards (or the TWM message boards, for that matter) since October 9th! Now the rest of you get out there!

In a related note, I'd like to address the issue of profanity. You may feel that there's too much profanity in KWI, and we're all obsessive-compulsive swearers. Well, this is the case. Deal with it.

Actually, Big BA is the only obsessive-compulsive swearer; the rest of us just do it because it's a perk of the job. So ******* you, ****** ******* *******.

~Senpai

Well Frosti, congrats on not doing the FOTW this week... I thought maybe, just maybe you would have remembered since it's like your big thing on the site, but nope. You forgot.... or you just suck and didn't have anything for us. So to keep you out there at least semi-happy, here's my FOTW:

Punk Cover of the week: Send Me An Angel by Thrice
This cover is rock-your-fricken-socks-off good!
Anime of the week: Great Teacher Onizuka
This anime is schoolgirl-a-rific! :-p "I'm not Doraemon, I'm Kenshiro!"
Serious Happiness of the week: Bisukito-chan is doing much better, in fact her wound is almost healed... But what about her other leg?! We'll find out soon!
Amnesia of the week: Mike forgetting to do the FOTW.
How could you, you heartless bastard?! What am I going to do to waste all of my bandwidth now?
Word of the Week: Mellifluous - Meaning "sweet or like honey" or something "soothing to hear"

Okay, so that's the FOTW... Oh yeah, now I remember what I was going to update about! Tetris is seriously El Diablo! Everyone plays it and it's so damn addicting! Senpai and I seem to be suffering from a mild case of pseudo-schizophrenia, seeing tetris blocks where there aren't really any tetris blocks!!

---

Senpai: have i told you that i'm going insane?
Big BA: no
Senpai: seeing tetris in my head?
Big BA: ME TOO!
Big BA: holy s***!
Big BA: I do it all the time!
Senpai: i know! school most of all!
Big BA: it's f***ing insane!
Senpai: it's creepy
Big BA: it is!
Senpai: AND I KEEP LOSING!
Big BA: and I have these fake scenarios in my head that I try to get through
Big BA: oh it pains me to see myself go like this
Senpai: IAL(OL)RN
Big BA: hehe
Senpai: i give myself crummy bricks, and I see myself trying to place those god-awful L and Z bricks

---

I took down the old poll and added a new one. Go vote.
And I leave you with a very old, yet still funny conversation between Senpai and I:

---

Senpai: Meh, that's not 1337; violas are 1337. In fact, we own the bass section; you're just our puppets.
Senpai: All your bass are belong to us!
Big BA: lol
Senpai: A pun spelled backwards is "nup" and a nup is a nup already.
Big BA: oh my gosh
Big BA: tell that to mrs weber
Senpai: oh my gosh?
Big BA: uh, yeah
Big BA: I mean... holy f***
Big BA: f***ing tell that to our bitch
Senpai: hahaha

Oh, and in reference to my update from yesterday:
I was looking through my #1 pal's profile and look what word popped up!! AMAZING!
nettle v. To excite sensations of uneasiness or displeasure in.

~BA

In keeping with Senpai's new theme (actually this update makes it a theme), here's a convo!

---

Victim: hey
Big BA: hey
Big BA: no I won't make out with you!
Big BA: gosh this is the third time now!
Big BA: when will you get it through your head I don't like you like that!
Victim: haha
Victim: settle down there datgy
Big BA: well what if I kept coming on to you, huh?
Big BA: wouldn't you get fed up?
Victim: no....i would just be happy that a guy as hott as you was coming on to me!!!
Victim: hahahahahahah
Big BA: lol
Victim: how was your day?
Big BA: oh it was great.... sexy.
Victim: omg stop
Big BA: I went over to yacin's house and played DDR with him and andy and nick and greg
Victim: greg??
Big BA: lol, yeah
Big BA: greg something
Big BA: was that some kind of come on?
Victim: huh??
Big BA: Victim: greg??
Victim: CHILL OUT!!haha
Big BA: it sounded like one to me
Victim: i didn't know who the hell you were talking about!! haha
Big BA: suuuuure
Big BA: I can see it in your buddy icon
Big BA: you want me bad
Victim: it's a fricking cheerleader
Big BA: whatever
Victim: now are you going to give me any gossip tonight or not?
Victim: cause i want to her what your AT is like
Victim: hear**
Big BA: I bet it means something in some secret ship flag code
Big BA: like "I love bill"
Victim: what the hell?
Big BA: lol, okay really I'm done now
Victim: gossip?
Big BA: nope
Big BA: other than that I heard Kellie likes Bill.... I dunno what that's all about
Victim: you're getting nettlesome now
Big BA: oh, pulling out big words about love now, huh?
Victim: ????
Victim: stop!

Hehe, I love it!

Wow, this is my first update in a while.
Anyways, I got hit by an AIM spammer just a few minutes ago. Having been around to take advantage of the opportunity, I immediately logged onto an alternate, private screen name, and started up a conversation. It went a little something like this:

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SecretScreenName: hey cutie
SecretScreenName: a friend told me about you
IM Spammer: Hi.
IM Spammer: Have you seen my pictures?
SecretScreenName: what picture?
IM Spammer: They're in my profile.
SecretScreenName: i have a question: do you get paid by the hour, or by the click-through rate?.
IM Spammer: What are you talking about silly?
SecretScreenName: right. well, you obviously don't get paid to converse with the clientele.
SecretScreenName: what are your views on abortion?
IM Spammer: I always have safe sex.
IM Spammer: Unless I
IM Spammer: Hmm...
SecretScreenName: you realize that that's an oxymoron
IM Spammer: Too dirty to say.
SecretScreenName: even with contraceptives, there's only a 99.9% success rate
IM Spammer: Well, thanks for letting me know that.
IM Spammer: I'll be more careful when ----ing my boyfriend.
SecretScreenName: well, thanks for your time. i'm fascinated to find that there's real people behind these monsters.

---

And then I warned "her" to 75%.

Have fun kids! And remember: premarital sex can blow your legs off! (That's a bad thing).

---

Wow, lucky you guys: more funny for your buck tonight:

Senpai: have i told you that i'm going insane?
Big BA: no
Senpai: seeing tetris in my head?
Big BA: ME TOO!
Big BA: oh my gosh
Big BA: I do it all the time!
Senpai: i know! school most of all!
Big BA: it's fricking insane!
Senpai: it's creepy
Big BA: it is!
Senpai: AND I KEEP LOSING!
Big BA: and I have these fake scenarios in my head that I try to get through
Big BA: oh it pains me to see myself go like this

Thanks Dominic for this wonderful round-up of the grand things that John has said over the past couple years...

Mrs. Weber: What is significant about the initials J.C?
Everyone: Oh... Jesus Christ!
John: Yeah I had to ask my mom what Jesus' middle name was.
Everyone: Uhhh....
Mrs. Weber: What are you talking about?
John: Like "Jesus H. Christ"
Mrs. Weber: They were swearing.
Mrs. Weber: The 'H' is for 'Holy'
John: Oh okay
*significant pause*
Mrs. Weber: I MADE THAT UP

---

Mrs. Weber: You can't be talking, listening, and chewing gum; something's missing.
John: We can't chew gum?
Miles: He's forgetting to breathe.

---

John: Could you survive on moss and lichen?

---

John: Was Ausschwitz a girl?

---

That's all for now!! Goodnight ladies and gentlemen! ~BA

Well, the master of Freudian slips is at it again! Yes Mrs. Weber has once again adorned the white board with the interesting, thought provoking, and oh-so sexual phrase: "Where are my boobs?" From "the penis" to "turn in your boobs", Mrs. Weber has been bringing the observant students in her class some laughs.... Thank you for that.
~BA

Before my rant, a funny (edited for people who don't particularly enjoy the word n*****):
"An' there we spied a n*****, with a trigger that was bigger than a elephant's proboscis or the whanger of a whale." (Steinbeck 14)

Yeah, that's right, Notre Dame lost the easiest win of the year against Boston College, a school who's suck factor outweighs Notre Dame's.
Here's the eye candy from the game:

.....................................BC.......ND
TOTAL OFFENSE PLAYS-YARDS........53-184...84-357
Interception Returns-Yards.........2-71......1-0
Fumbles-Lost........................0-0......7-3
Penalties-Yards....................6-61.....7-58
Possession Time...................26:02....33:58
Third-Down Conversions..........4 of 14..8 of 18
Fourth-Down Conversions..........0 of 0...1 of 4
Red-Zone Scores-Chances.............1-1......1-6
Sacks By: Number-Yards.............2-11.....4-25

Notre Dame, you suck. So here's the run-down, guys. The stats that the official site shows are wrong, there were at least 8 fumbles by ND. We missed one TD from the 10 yard-line because of TWO false starts in a row and a failed 4th-down conversion... If we had taken the opportunities for field-goals when we could have gotten them, we'd have killed BC... Oh, and if we had gotten that touchdown the refs crappily called out, then we would have really killed BC.

One final bit: Carlyle, you dork, stop dropping the damn ball!

Yeah I'm pissed. Have a great Sunday! ~BA